Morgan [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to the Am I Doing this Right Podcast. My name is Morgan, and I'm here with my co host, Leslie.
Leslie [00:00:06]:
That's right.
Morgan [00:00:06]:
And we have a special guest co host today on the podcast, and she's only going to be in this beginning segment with us, but she was asking me. She told me today. She was like, I would go on your podcast.
Leslie [00:00:18]:
Oh.
Morgan [00:00:19]:
If you wanted to actually, like, your wish. You said something else. You said you were thinking about starting a podcast when you were 10. Wait. Tell us your name first of all, and say it into the microphone.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:00:30]:
My name is Kira Isabel Williams.
Morgan [00:00:32]:
Kira Isabel Williams. And tell us who you are and what you're about. Like, what do you do, how old you are?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:00:40]:
I'm 6 years old, and I love to do dancing and singing.
Morgan [00:00:44]:
And you go to school?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:00:46]:
Acs. A kiddie and a Christian school.
Morgan [00:00:49]:
Okay, and where are you from? Tell us what state you live in.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:00:51]:
Louisiana.
Leslie [00:00:53]:
Louisiana. I love that.
Morgan [00:00:56]:
Wait, what city?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:00:59]:
Lafayette.
Morgan May Treuil [00:01:00]:
Lafayette.
Leslie [00:01:00]:
Okay, so is it Lafayette or Lafayette?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:01:03]:
Lafayette.
Morgan [00:01:05]:
Tell them this is a big deal, because some people say Lafayette, but that's wrong. Right.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:01:09]:
It's Lafayette.
Morgan [00:01:10]:
Like you're laughing.
Leslie [00:01:11]:
Like you're laughing.
Morgan [00:01:12]:
Okay, that's great. Okay, so we brought you on here to. Oh, wait. Tell us what you want your podcast to be about. When you turned 10, you said you wanted to start a podcast about what?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:01:22]:
About, like, how you could. Like, it's.
Leslie [00:01:26]:
I don't.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:01:28]:
To, like, teach you about God and all that stuff.
Morgan [00:01:32]:
So you're gonna start a competing podcast with ours, basically, is what you're saying.
Leslie [00:01:36]:
You're telling us we're giving you the platform and you're gonna turn on us.
Morgan [00:01:40]:
You're gonna get more listeners than we are.
Leslie [00:01:42]:
Yeah, she's gonna put it on Amazon.
Morgan [00:01:44]:
Okay, so we brought you on here to tell us your unpopular opinion because we start every episode. Do you listen to this podcast?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:01:52]:
Sometimes.
Morgan [00:01:54]:
Okay.
Leslie [00:01:55]:
This is. This is Morgan's niece, by the way. Yes, sorry.
Morgan [00:01:58]:
This is my niece Izzy, and this is my only niece, actually.
Leslie [00:02:02]:
Oh.
Morgan [00:02:03]:
My only niece that I have. So my favorite right now, My favorite niece. Tell us your unpopular opinion.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:02:11]:
Salmon with Chick Fil A sauce is good. Yes, it's the best.
Leslie [00:02:17]:
Okay, wait, how did you discover this combo?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:02:20]:
So, basically, like, my brother Kevin, he, like, used to put Chick Fil A sauce on everything. Then I tried it, and I was like, not that bad.
Leslie [00:02:31]:
She's like, not that bad. Chick Fil A sauce on salmon.
Morgan [00:02:35]:
I know, because here's my problem with it. My problem is salmon feels like a fine dining experience, and Chick Fil A feels like some fast food, like, sauce. You just throw on something. So tell me, like, does it. Does it make it better? Is it fancier that way?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:02:54]:
It makes it, like, kind of sweet and, like, kind of saucy.
Morgan [00:02:59]:
Oh, kind of sweet. Kind of saucy.
Leslie [00:03:01]:
Kind of sweet and saucy.
Morgan [00:03:04]:
Is there anything that Chick Fil A sauce is not good on?
Kira Isabel Williams [00:03:10]:
Trout.
Morgan [00:03:12]:
Trout? What are you talking. I've never even had trout before. I know.
Leslie [00:03:19]:
I'm like, I've never had trout.
Morgan [00:03:20]:
What is trout?
Leslie [00:03:22]:
Louisiana. There's a lot of fish out there.
Morgan [00:03:24]:
I know. You eat a lot of stuff in Louisiana that people don't.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:03:27]:
Very vomited.
Morgan [00:03:29]:
Vomited. Oh, my gosh.
Leslie [00:03:33]:
So saucy and vomity.
Morgan [00:03:34]:
Yes, we have. We're getting so many flavor profiles.
Leslie [00:03:37]:
You should start a podcast, honestly.
Morgan [00:03:39]:
Yes, we would listen to your podcast.
Leslie [00:03:40]:
You're hilarious.
Morgan [00:03:41]:
What would your podcast be called? I'm putting you on the spot.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:03:48]:
Jesus loves you, Jesus.
Morgan [00:03:50]:
Wow, that's.
Leslie [00:03:51]:
I thought you were gonna say, am I doing this wrong?
Morgan [00:03:55]:
Am I doing this?
Leslie [00:03:55]:
Am I doing this wrong?
Morgan [00:03:57]:
Okay, Izzy, thanks for joining us on the Am I doing this right podcast.
Kira Isabel Williams [00:04:00]:
You're welcome.
Morgan [00:04:01]:
You're welcome, you're welcome. Okay, we'll see you later.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:04]:
Bye, Izzy.
Morgan [00:04:06]:
Just mic drops and leaves. Salmon and Chick Fil A sauce, but not trout.
Leslie [00:04:12]:
I've never had trout.
Morgan [00:04:13]:
Actually, I've only heard of trout, like, from a parent trap.
Leslie [00:04:18]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:04:19]:
Don't they make trout when they're going camping in the Parent trap?
Leslie [00:04:22]:
Yeah, she's, like, eating it in her little things. Trout.
Morgan [00:04:25]:
That's the only time I've ever heard of that. That's amazing.
Leslie [00:04:27]:
So funny. She's so cute. I love her.
Morgan [00:04:29]:
I know.
Leslie [00:04:30]:
She really should start a podcast.
Morgan [00:04:31]:
She is going to start a podcast, and then we're all going to be.
Leslie [00:04:33]:
Just looking up to her. Exactly. Hey.
Morgan [00:04:37]:
Well.
Leslie [00:04:38]:
Well, first of all, we just wrapped.
Morgan [00:04:40]:
Up our kids camp.
Leslie [00:04:41]:
Kids camp?
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:42]:
Yep.
Morgan [00:04:42]:
Which is why Katie's here, actually.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:43]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:04:44]:
And why she was in her.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:45]:
Yeah, why?
Morgan [00:04:46]:
And she was actually. You just came from kids camp yesterday. Kids camp, day four. Kicked me square in the face, and I had to literally go home early because I almost blacked out on the wreck field, which feels like I just am too weak to handle breakaway.
Leslie [00:05:02]:
You're not. You're just pregnant.
Morgan [00:05:04]:
I'm pregnant and too weak to handle breakaway.
Leslie [00:05:06]:
Was it like. So your vision was going in and out?
Morgan [00:05:09]:
Yeah, my legs became like noodles. Like, I couldn't stand up anymore. And, like, all the vision went dark and then, like, blurry. In my hands. Like, I could not stop shaking my hands. It was crazy. It was very scary. I think it was probably some, like, low iron levels, something wrong with what I ate, but whatever, it doesn't matter.
Leslie [00:05:28]:
But you went to the doctor and everything's fine.
Morgan [00:05:30]:
Y' all don't care about my urgent care business. I go to enough urgent care visits to where you guys are like, oh, sorry, was it just a Tuesday? Just a random Tuesday. Just visit the urgent care. No, but we did wrap up kids camps. It's one of the best things that we do, and this is a good public service announcement that wherever you go to church, I'm assuming you do some sort of a version of a summer kids camp. It's a really great way to serve this summer.
Morgan May Treuil [00:05:52]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:05:52]:
And to see some fun life change happen with some really sweet kids. I led a group this week, and I started off, we have four girls and eight, nine, 10, 11. Probably had, like, nine, 10 boys, something like that. And they were all so sweet at first. I was like, this week's gonna be exhausting. And then after day one, I'm like, I'm kind of invested in these kids. I was like, how do I bail? And then I was like, actually, I kind of love them now.
Leslie [00:06:20]:
Did you get to say goodbye to them before you had to leave?
Morgan [00:06:22]:
No, I'm not that invested. I'm like. I'm like, three days in it. Yeah, I do, actually. They were really cute. It actually, it was kind of fun because we're having a boy, which I don't know if I've told the podcast that.
Leslie [00:06:37]:
Here's the joke.
Morgan [00:06:38]:
Having a boy. And I've been nervous about that just because, like, you know how to relate to girls because you are one and.
Leslie [00:06:44]:
You grew up with all girls.
Morgan [00:06:45]:
Yeah. But then having the, like, seeing these boys at Breakaway, I'm like, they're actually so fun. It made me more excited to have a boy.
Leslie [00:06:52]:
Good.
Morgan May Treuil [00:06:52]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:06:53]:
Boys are the best.
Morgan May Treuil [00:06:54]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:06:54]:
Well, it has been an ER urgent care type week. My dog Ryder.
Morgan [00:06:58]:
We have to hear the writer update. Tell people what happened to Ryder.
Leslie [00:07:00]:
So. So Ryder got into a bottle of Advil ibuprofen, which I wouldn't have assumed is good for a dog, but I also didn't know, like, the extremes that it was.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:09]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:07:10]:
So this was Saturday night. He got into a bottle of Advil, and then I thought I was being a little extra by taking him to the vet. I'm like, oh, like, it's probably fine, but I'll just take him there to get his Stomach pumped. Yeah, we've already been there before. Ryder's already eaten chocolate. Like a month ago he was at the vet. So I come in like a frequent flyer over there.
Morgan [00:07:28]:
Yeah, you had some vet bills.
Leslie [00:07:29]:
Yes. And then Ryder. So then they bring me in after like three hours. It's now like two in the morning. And I brought Christy with me. And we're sitting there and we're laughing. Well, first of all, if you need a good time, go to the ER, the PET ER at about 11 o' clock at night at your vet.
Morgan [00:07:47]:
And people watch.
Leslie [00:07:48]:
And people watch cuz this place.
Morgan [00:07:50]:
I can't imagine the stories. Oh my gosh.
Leslie [00:07:53]:
First of all, there's like so many people coming, which. Okay, here's the sad part. There's a lot of people coming in with their dogs and they walk out without their dogs. And that's.
Morgan [00:08:02]:
Which is so sad.
Morgan May Treuil [00:08:03]:
Yes, so sad.
Leslie [00:08:04]:
There was one lady just bawling her eyes out. I'm like, that would be me.
Morgan [00:08:06]:
Oh God, it was so sad.
Leslie [00:08:07]:
One person brought in their cat, its legs were broken. It had just been ran over by a car.
Morgan [00:08:12]:
Oh my gosh.
Leslie [00:08:13]:
And it was still alive though. This, I mean, this was the chillest cat. I'm not a cat person, but this cat. I was like, I might put some money towards surgery.
Morgan [00:08:21]:
You're like, is there a donation box here to where I can fund some other surgeries?
Leslie [00:08:25]:
And they have this like, horrible. Which is. It's not horrible, it's horribly sad. But they have this little battery candle at the front desk and there's a sign next to it and it says, when the candle is lit, please lower your voices because someone is saying goodbye to their pet. So then they just turn it on and put it down.
Morgan [00:08:44]:
That is so. That's so that.
Leslie [00:08:47]:
That candle was on the entire time I was there. It was so sad. But there was. Which I guess, I mean, I feel like I'm releasing someone's medical information on this podcast right now, but I don't know who they are.
Morgan [00:08:59]:
I don't know if it's hipaa, if.
Leslie [00:08:59]:
It'S a pet, but this lady walks in with her little dog and I don't, I don't like directly look up, but I'm like hearing this happen. And she's talking to the vet and she's like, so I'm bringing my dog in and he's a chihuahua and he is not watching TV like he normally does. And I'm like, okay, now I'm interested.
Morgan [00:09:19]:
I'm like, wait, what?
Leslie [00:09:20]:
She's like he's not watching TV like he normally does. And so, Kristen, I look at each other like, this is a very weird reason to bring a dog into effect. And then she goes, but he keeps looking over his shoulder like he's paranoid. Like he's just looking over his shoulder. And so now I'm like, oh, my gosh. So I look over this dog. I kid you not, this dog is, like, looking like someone is about to, like, kill him from behind. He looks so paranoid.
Leslie [00:09:44]:
And she goes, I have an ex husband who's kind of crazy, and I think he did something to the dog.
Morgan [00:09:51]:
Oh, my gosh. Wait, so what did they do? They were just like.
Leslie [00:09:54]:
She was like. The vet was super calm. She's like, oh, wow. Okay, I'll take the dog if you want to do a drug test. And she's like, yes, I would love.
Morgan [00:10:04]:
To do a drug test on the dog.
Leslie [00:10:06]:
On the dog.
Morgan [00:10:07]:
There's nothing physically wrong with the dog except for the dog is looking over its shoulder like it's seen a ghost.
Leslie [00:10:11]:
And it's not watching tv. Okay, but so then they take the dog back. Okay, they take the dog back, they do the drug test, and they come out about an hour later. We're all still there together.
Morgan May Treuil [00:10:24]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:10:25]:
And she comes out and she's like, so we did the drug test, and the doctor is gonna talk to you about the results. And the lady's like, oh, was there anything on it? And she's like, I'm gonna need to let the doctor explain to you what was on it.
Morgan [00:10:39]:
And I'm like, you find out the end of this.
Leslie [00:10:40]:
Ex husband poison drug. The dog. I think you didn't get to hear that. No. Because then they take them back into the room by themselves.
Morgan [00:10:49]:
And I'm like, we've all been in this together.
Leslie [00:10:51]:
Do you need me to come in and just comfort you?
Morgan [00:10:54]:
At least can you come and tell us what happens afterwards? Literally. That is a crazy night. And. But Ryder's okay?
Leslie [00:10:59]:
Oh, yeah, Ryder's good. He. I mean, it. He was in the. Apparently. It's such a big deal. They're like, oh, we're going to hospitalize him. And I'm like, wait, what?
Morgan [00:11:07]:
Yeah, this was not like, a light.
Leslie [00:11:08]:
This was an in and out scenario. Yeah, this was a. We're keeping him for three days, and we've got to pump him with, like, charcoal and fluids. And so he's back now.
Morgan [00:11:17]:
Cause Advil can be for your liver, for the dog's life.
Leslie [00:11:21]:
Liver and kidney.
Morgan [00:11:21]:
Liver and kidney.
Leslie [00:11:22]:
He might have to go on dialysis. I'm like.
Morgan [00:11:28]:
Like, I don't know what I do in this scenario.
Leslie [00:11:31]:
I'm like, I grew up in a family.
Morgan [00:11:33]:
Dialysis is not a thing for dialysis. Don't go on dogs. Dogs do not go on dialysis.
Leslie [00:11:38]:
Like, I don't remember taking our dog to the vet.
Morgan [00:11:40]:
But you're, like, growing up.
Leslie [00:11:41]:
But maybe now I become a person that. I'm like, yes. Anything to do to save the dog. Yes.
Morgan [00:11:47]:
No, 100%.
Leslie [00:11:48]:
They're like, do you want us to.
Morgan [00:11:49]:
When you love a dog.
Morgan May Treuil [00:11:50]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:11:51]:
You're like, if something happens.
Morgan [00:11:52]:
Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [00:11:53]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:11:53]:
I'm like, I just want to make sure I signed the. Not, like, DNR or whatever.
Morgan [00:11:57]:
Yes, 100%. Yeah.
Leslie [00:11:59]:
So after a lot of money later and a lot of time and tears, but you just realize you don't know how much you love it until they're almost gone.
Morgan [00:12:06]:
That's so sad. I'm so. That's a lot of emotional turmoil that you've been in in the past.
Leslie [00:12:11]:
I feel like I've been.
Morgan [00:12:12]:
Do you feel tired?
Leslie [00:12:13]:
Yes.
Morgan [00:12:14]:
Like a parent. Like, I. This. This, to me is reminiscent of, like. Yeah. Like, you're like. You're the thing. You're responsible for keeping alive.
Leslie [00:12:22]:
Yes.
Morgan [00:12:23]:
Is just. That's exhausting. That's crazy.
Leslie [00:12:25]:
Yeah. And you're about to go through this at 10 times what I've done. We're gonna have a real child.
Morgan [00:12:30]:
I hope that he doesn't break and eat an Advil bottle and then have to. That would be so terrible.
Leslie [00:12:35]:
Well, if it makes you feel better, when I was four, Christy and I got into our vitamins, like, our childhood vitamins, and we sat back and forth and divvied them out and ate the entire bottle.
Morgan [00:12:45]:
And what did your parents do?
Leslie [00:12:47]:
My mom is so chill. She's like, oh, my gosh, I hope they're okay. Like, that's kind of scary. And then late, I guess, for, like, a few hours later, she called the doctor. She's like, I should probably call and just make sure. And they're like, you gotta call poison control. Like, they need to throw up and all this stuff. And she's like, well, they're fine now.
Leslie [00:13:04]:
And it's been, like, six hours. And he's like, oh, wow, then they're probably fine. I was like, thanks, Mom.
Morgan [00:13:11]:
And it's been six. But this is why you guys probably don't get sick very often. And you have good immune systems because your mom was chill like that. What was that?
Leslie [00:13:20]:
It's like a. I am on my Parents, like, we all. Our cars are all connected so we can get into each other's cars on our phones.
Morgan [00:13:29]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:13:29]:
And I got a thing that was like, dog mode issue detected with climate control. Return to your car immediately because someone's dog might be in it.
Morgan [00:13:37]:
But is your dog in your car right now?
Leslie [00:13:39]:
No, he's okay.
Morgan [00:13:41]:
I was like. Because we just got him out of the woods. He is really cute right now. He has, like, a little. A little, like, shaved part of his paw where he had his eyes. Like a little pig leg.
Leslie [00:13:53]:
It's like a little pirate. It's, like, literally shaved. It was so sad.
Morgan [00:13:56]:
That is so sad.
Leslie [00:13:57]:
I know. So I feel like I'm just coming out of this.
Morgan [00:13:59]:
He is so cute, too. So it's like when. When an ugly dog gets sick, you're like, okay, but when a really cute dog gets sick, you're just. Yeah.
Leslie [00:14:07]:
You just can't not save them.
Morgan [00:14:08]:
I know.
Leslie [00:14:09]:
So. Well, anyways, my dog sob story. He's good for now.
Morgan [00:14:13]:
He's good for now.
Leslie [00:14:13]:
Keep saying that. Yeah.
Morgan [00:14:15]:
Next week we'll come back with your next writer update.
Leslie [00:14:18]:
Yeah. Hopefully he's still alive by next week.
Morgan [00:14:20]:
We've been doing this summer segment with people writing in their scenarios, but we got such a good one in this week that we thought, let's just do the whole episode on this scenario, because we felt like one person wrote this in. But this is probably a lot of people that are feeling this and going through this in. Especially in this season of Life, so.
Leslie [00:14:39]:
That's right.
Morgan [00:14:40]:
Read the scenario they got written in.
Leslie [00:14:42]:
I will. She says, hello, ladies. First off, I love your podcast so much. Feels like talking to friends about life, and I just can't get enough.
Morgan [00:14:52]:
Oh, my gosh.
Leslie [00:14:53]:
You're both so funny and full of wisdom.
Morgan [00:14:55]:
Oh, my gosh.
Leslie [00:14:56]:
Keep going that part. So then she says. Oh, she said, you're gonna be a good mother, Morgan.
Morgan [00:15:01]:
Oh, wow.
Morgan May Treuil [00:15:02]:
See?
Morgan [00:15:02]:
She doesn't know anything.
Morgan May Treuil [00:15:04]:
Just kidding.
Morgan [00:15:04]:
That's really sweet.
Leslie [00:15:05]:
We'll see when it gets here.
Morgan [00:15:06]:
We'll see what happens. We'll see what happens.
Leslie [00:15:10]:
She says. My question situation is this. I just graduated from high school this past April, which was amazing, but it has also been hard. I thought I would be super excited about this new chapter of my life, but now that my high school years are over, most of what I'm feeling is grief. I. My college years are going to be so good. I know that. But it's so hard to balance being happy about this new step without wanting things to stay how they were.
Leslie [00:15:33]:
I'm not going far from my family and friends, but it still feels like everything is going to change so much. How did you cope with the change of stepping more fully into adulthood and what were some things you wish you had known and some lessons you wish you hadn't had to learn the hard way?
Morgan [00:15:48]:
This is so good.
Leslie [00:15:48]:
She also said on a side note, I'm going on a missions trip in July, so if you could spare a moment to pray for me, that would be awesome.
Morgan [00:15:53]:
That's really sweet. I wonder where she's going on a missions trip too.
Leslie [00:15:57]:
Doesn't say.
Morgan [00:15:59]:
I thought this was such a good question because.
Leslie [00:16:00]:
Oh, and she's from the Midwest.
Morgan [00:16:02]:
What is that? Where is that?
Leslie [00:16:04]:
The Midwest?
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:05]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:16:05]:
Where's the mid. Like, what's, what's in the Midwest?
Leslie [00:16:07]:
Oh, sorry. I mean, she's like, from there.
Morgan [00:16:09]:
Like, where. Yeah, but I'm saying, like, what states are in the Midwest? Chicago's in the Midwest, isn't it? Yeah, Chicago's. Illinois is the state in the middle.
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:20]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:16:20]:
Anyway, she's not from where we're from. That's. That's what I just learned. Okay.
Leslie [00:16:24]:
We're truly a Texas California girl.
Morgan [00:16:26]:
Because I'm like, we're so self absorbed in our own states. We don't know what the Midwest is that be.
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:32]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:16:32]:
She's somewhere in the middle of.
Morgan [00:16:34]:
Yeah, the middle of the Midwest.
Leslie [00:16:35]:
The Middle West.
Morgan [00:16:36]:
The Midwest of the United States. I think this is such a good question and so good. And it's a good time to talk about it because it's June, which means that we have lots of listeners that probably just graduated from. From high school. Sorry, from high school. Maybe middle schoolers who've left middle school and are going into high school and.
Leslie [00:16:57]:
Lots of college and you're going into adulthood.
Morgan [00:16:59]:
Exactly.
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:59]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:17:00]:
Like starting careers and stuff. Or maybe you're just, you're moving, you're getting married, you're whatever your thing is. But I love, I love how honestly she talks about it because there is that harsh reality of the beginning of one season always means the end of something else. It's the end of what you're comfortable with. It's the end of what you know. And it's sometimes the end of certain relationships or rhythms in the way that you once knew them. And that can be a really hard thing. And clearly people struggle with this because you have the whole like, funny stereotype of like the hometown hero or like the guy or girl who never left high school or whatever.
Morgan [00:17:35]:
Because there is such a thing as like becoming so romanticized over. What was that? You never find the courage to move on for sure. And then you can miss out on some really good things that God has for you, too.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:49]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:17:49]:
What would you say for. For you to date was the hardest moving on period of life? What was the hardest thing to move from? And then to something else?
Leslie [00:18:00]:
Well, I'm so sorry for our Midwest listener, but it was high school. College.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:05]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:18:05]:
Like what she's saying. I'm like, I know exactly how you feel.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:10]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:18:10]:
And not because I was the hometown hero of my high school.
Morgan [00:18:15]:
Like, it was so good for me in high school.
Leslie [00:18:17]:
I was just the head cheerleader. No, I'm just. But that was definitely the hardest. I think I had a lot of great friends in high school. I had. Well, I had my friends at high school, and then I had my friends at church, like, our youth group, and that was really thriving. Like, those were my best friends. I was dating somebody who was a year behind me, so he stayed.
Leslie [00:18:40]:
Recipe for a disaster. Not still in high school.
Morgan [00:18:44]:
You're a freshman in college.
Leslie [00:18:45]:
He was in high school. I was a freshman in college. So it was like, I was so involved in church. I loved church. I loved school. Actually, I did not love school. I was happy to leave high school, but I loved, like, my friends. And I was excited for college because I was like, everybody talks about college being so fun, but then I'm like.
Leslie [00:19:04]:
But I feel like I'm living in a really fun season. This is also, like, my first boyfriend. So I was like, oh, I'm just in love, and this is awesome. And now I'm leaving him and all of our friends, and I'm going to a school where I knew no one.
Morgan May Treuil [00:19:17]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:19:18]:
I knew my twin sister came, which you think would make it easier, but we didn't room together.
Morgan [00:19:24]:
Why was that, by the way? Just to, like, try to branch out and meet new people.
Morgan May Treuil [00:19:28]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Leslie [00:19:29]:
And. Yeah, that's a whole another story. So we. Yeah, we had. It was just, like, a difficult season. I think I thought college was going to bring me what I had in high school that freshman year.
Morgan May Treuil [00:19:46]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:19:46]:
But the first semester was so hard. I think I cried every day.
Morgan [00:19:50]:
Yeah, I think it's hard because you. You left something that you had spent. 18, not. 18. Yeah, 18 years, like, building, basically. You didn't know you were building it because you were just growing up. Right.
Leslie [00:20:03]:
And I never moved. Like, we moved houses, but, like, we never moved. We moved one city, but it was, like, 15 minutes away.
Morgan [00:20:09]:
Oh, yeah.
Leslie [00:20:10]:
So it wasn't like I Even I had one big school transition, but I never, like, left this area.
Morgan [00:20:16]:
Well, no. And then also, you. Bayside started when you were, like, four.
Leslie [00:20:19]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:20:20]:
So in terms of your church community.
Leslie [00:20:21]:
And your family never gone to another church, which.
Morgan [00:20:23]:
That's the. I think that's even bigger sometimes than your school community is your church community. And that hadn't changed.
Leslie [00:20:29]:
Yeah. So just to, like, not to scare anybody leaving high school, but I think some people. I wish that I would have expected it to be hard because I think when I got to college, I was, like, so thrown off by the fact that this was hard, because I was like, oh, this is gonna be great. My sister and I are going. And that first week, I. I actually cried during a class, and they're like, are you good?
Morgan [00:20:52]:
Like, your teacher?
Leslie [00:20:52]:
Like, no.
Morgan [00:20:53]:
Oh, gosh, that is so sad. I cried.
Leslie [00:20:56]:
This is so sad. I think we told you this the other night. I cried so, so much that first semester that I literally had scabs under my eyes.
Morgan [00:21:03]:
This. I had never heard you say this. And I was like, how does that even happen?
Leslie [00:21:07]:
It makes me sound like a little baby.
Morgan [00:21:08]:
No, I was so sad.
Leslie [00:21:10]:
I was so sad. And the friendships, and I was, like, going out, like, trying to find friends, all this stuff. And there were great people. Like, it had nothing to do with the people. The dorm I lived in was great. My roommate was sweet. Like, everybody else was awesome. But it was just, like.
Leslie [00:21:25]:
It was so, so hard.
Morgan [00:21:26]:
It's. I. I really think that you saying two people graduating, if you expect it to be hard, that might be better, because I do think that we romanticize college a little bit.
Leslie [00:21:36]:
Oh, yeah.
Morgan [00:21:37]:
And you have this expectation that it's going to be all this freedom. It's going to be awesome. You know, sleepovers every day. And at some point, at least for me, it did become that. It became really fun, and I had great friends. But it didn't start that way, because, again, you're going from something that you just spent 18 years building without knowing it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:21:56]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:21:57]:
And you built it, but mostly your parents kind of built it for you. And then you just got to, like, experience the fruits of it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:22:04]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:22:04]:
And then you leave, and you. You're basically starting over somewhere completely fresh. Yeah. And the only thing that you have that kind of helps ground you is the fact that you're there for a reason. You're there for school. And so, you know, you've got a couple things that are built in for you. But I like the idea of expecting it to be hard, because then at least you're not disappointed by how different.
Leslie [00:22:26]:
It is and not in the way of, like, you need to dread college and think it's gonna be the worst or not go. Like, I'm like, no. One of the best things I ever did.
Morgan May Treuil [00:22:33]:
Yes.
Morgan [00:22:33]:
Was leave.
Leslie [00:22:34]:
It was the hardest, but it was the best thing for me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:22:36]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:22:37]:
Because I think. I think it's always good to have an experience maybe outside of your hometown. That doesn't mean you have to go to, like a four year college or you have to move. I'm not even. Some people stay in the same spot forever, and it's great. I think I was at a spot where I was super comfortable and I really hadn't gone through anything hard. And so this was my first season where I was like, oh, I actually do have to learn what it means to lean on God, to not just lean on people around me. And if I'm really honest, I think I grew up in a church where my dad was the pastor.
Leslie [00:23:10]:
I knew all the staff. I knew, like, I was just set up in life. And if it's like, if I wanted to be a part of something, I got to be a part of it. Like, that's just the way it was. And then when I moved to college, to a campus of like 10,000 people, I was a nobody.
Morgan May Treuil [00:23:25]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:23:26]:
And it was humbling. Like, it was a really good humbling experience. I remember the first position I applied for to be like a. Not an ra, but like a. Basically, like, you're like, heading up something like, like a leadership position. And I didn't get it. And I was like, like, sorry. I'm sorry.
Morgan [00:23:43]:
What?
Leslie [00:23:44]:
What? Like, look at. I've done all these leadership things, and then I'm like, oh, yeah. Because I grew up at this church, so they knew me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:23:51]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:23:52]:
And they knew who I was. But, like, I walk into a spot where I know nobody.
Morgan May Treuil [00:23:55]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:23:56]:
And I get denied the first leadership thing. It was. It wasn't even a paid thing. It was like, I'm volunteering.
Morgan [00:24:01]:
And they're like, no, we don't need your volunteer time.
Leslie [00:24:04]:
Volunteer time.
Morgan [00:24:04]:
Like, wow, college is the worst.
Leslie [00:24:06]:
College is tough.
Morgan [00:24:06]:
It's gonna chew me up and spit me out.
Leslie [00:24:08]:
Yes. So I would say that first. So it's good to have realistic expectation, but don't let it. Don't let it dissuade you from doing it. But to go in being like, hey, this might be hard, and that's totally fine.
Morgan May Treuil [00:24:22]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:24:23]:
Did the relationship last? Like, through that first year of college. Wow. Was that hard to have like 2ft or 1 foot in both worlds, because he was back here and you were there.
Leslie [00:24:36]:
Yeah. That probably is what made it harder because, like, naturally, maybe this makes me sound a little boy crazy when I was in college, but I think some of the fun of college too, is, like, you're kind of, like, looking to see who's out there.
Morgan May Treuil [00:24:50]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:24:51]:
And there's like, you make great friends, and then there's guys you've never met before, you've never grown up with. So I remember there was a guy that I was like, oh, he's kind of interesting.
Morgan May Treuil [00:24:59]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:24:59]:
But I was dating someone, and I'm like, I'm not obviously gonna go explore that at all. And I was, like, very committed to the boyfriend that I had. But I think some of maybe, like, the fun of the freshman year is being like, who's out there?
Morgan [00:25:12]:
And all that. It's the wonder of what could be. Because you don't get to experience any of the joy of, like, a new adventure yet. Because you're not. You haven't figured it out yet.
Leslie [00:25:21]:
Oh, it was like I had all wondering. Yes. And I always wondered, like, why. I would be curious to hear your take on this. But when people say, like, you shouldn't go to college with a boyfriend, it's.
Morgan [00:25:31]:
Funny because I have friends who went to college, similar situation. She left, he stayed. And then because he was one year behind, they ended. He ended up when he graduated, going to a different school elsewhere. They're married today. And it was like, you know, the greatest thing. And they, you know, they had, like, a long distance thing, and it worked really well for them. But everyone else gave me that advice.
Morgan [00:25:54]:
So I know that certain people do it and it works, and I know that certain people don't do it. And really the bigger question, like, whether you're in college or you're career minded or you're moving or whatever it is, is basically deciding, like, is the relationship that I'm in something that lasts beyond this context that I'm in if I think it does? Like, if I. If I could see this working in several other contexts because I could actually see myself building a life with this person.
Morgan May Treuil [00:26:20]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:26:20]:
Then.
Morgan May Treuil [00:26:21]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:26:21]:
The only way to. To see if it works is to test it by distance and different locations and stuff like that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:26:27]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:26:28]:
It's almost like you have to go into college with a boyfriend if, you know, like, if you do not have significant doubts. Yeah, I had doubts when I went, but I still really liked him. So I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna Try to make this work. And. And then it turned into kind of like a security blanket. He was back home. I always had him to talk to.
Morgan [00:26:48]:
But someone that knows you.
Leslie [00:26:49]:
Someone that knows me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:26:50]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:26:50]:
And.
Morgan [00:26:51]:
And knows all of your things that you miss. Yeah.
Leslie [00:26:53]:
Like, maybe it would have been harder without him, but maybe it would have been easier.
Morgan [00:26:57]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:26:58]:
So I would say, like, if you're dating someone in high school and you're like, I really like this person. We have a lot of fun. But I think maybe I'm just staying in it because it's comfortable or staying because, like, I like them, but I have a lot of doubts.
Morgan May Treuil [00:27:12]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:27:12]:
Maybe break up with them.
Morgan [00:27:14]:
Yeah. Like, before you go to college.
Leslie [00:27:15]:
Because I guarantee if you try to pull your heart in two spots.
Morgan May Treuil [00:27:19]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:27:20]:
It's gonna be so much harder.
Morgan [00:27:21]:
It definitely. I think there's no way around it. Staying with somebody while staying with somebody from one location, while moving to a different location, you are making a decision about how you're going enter into that new space.
Morgan May Treuil [00:27:34]:
Yes.
Morgan [00:27:35]:
In any stage of life. Yeah. Now, sometimes, like, I. I was long distance for part of my relationship. You've been in relationships where long distance is part of it. And I actually think that's a really healthy, like, trial period for a relationship, because your communication gets tested, your trust gets tested, because you're in two different worlds doing two different things, but you're still connected by your relationship. So I think that there are seasons where it's like, yeah, this is the relationship that I want. And I see this beyond just this season that we're in.
Morgan [00:28:07]:
I see this going beyond high school, beyond college, beyond this job. So I want to try this. Then, of course, like, test it and see. But some things, you kind of know it when you're in it. Like, oh, this isn't actually what I see myself becoming. This is, like, very much who I am right now.
Morgan May Treuil [00:28:26]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:28:26]:
And I think with that. Yeah. Making the decision to be like, I'm going to do the hard thing of ending this relationship because I know it's not my forever thing. So that I can fully and presently go into what's next.
Morgan May Treuil [00:28:38]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:28:39]:
Because you're making a decision about how present you can be. Right. And that. That, to me, is a big part of this conversation and a big part of advice that I would give to people asking the same question is one of the things that's going to help you the most in all transitions in life is to be present exactly where you are, which is a very, very crazy piece of advice to give to a generation, ours included, who are very prone to not being present because of these.
Leslie [00:29:09]:
Oh, my gosh.
Morgan [00:29:10]:
And just the way that our world works.
Leslie [00:29:11]:
Like, I'm going to date myself, but I think my freshman year of college is, like, when Instagram came out, it has to be. But it wasn't even a big deal, so I didn't even have that. As, like, I think this would have made it worse.
Morgan [00:29:22]:
You know, it would have been. Well, think about it. Like, I think Instagram came out first when I was ending. Ending high school. But we didn't have stories or any of the stuff that keeps you glued to it. Like, we would open our phones and we would scroll to see, like, what pictures people posted, but you didn't even have that many friends because not many people were on it.
Leslie [00:29:41]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:29:41]:
And then the whole stories thing is different because then it's like, it doesn't matter how many people have posted to their grid. You can get new content every 2 seconds if you want to.
Leslie [00:29:50]:
We all had Facebook, but you had to, like, be on your laptop to access.
Morgan [00:29:52]:
Exactly. Literally, like a laptop or a desktop plugged into a main router. It was, like, so hard. And so, no, we weren't glued to it. It.
Leslie [00:30:00]:
No.
Morgan [00:30:01]:
And I think that. That the whole idea of. Of learning to be very present with where you are and present really just means I'm very aware. Like, I'm where my feet are planted. If I'm in a certain social situation, my mind is here, it's not over there. If I'm at work, my mind is here. It's not over there. If I'm going to college, my mind and myself is here trying to figure out what this could be versus being back in my hometown, where I loved my hometown.
Morgan [00:30:32]:
I had a great experience there.
Morgan May Treuil [00:30:33]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:30:34]:
But it's not my current reality. And so basically, I think, like. But then at the same time, going backwards, the way to really appreciate and mourn and, like, move on from an experience that was really good because I had. I had a really great high school experience, just like you did. It was sad to leave, but I also think by the time that I left, it felt very complete because I felt like I had been there, like, for the full four years. I really felt like I experienced it. I lived it. I was present, I was there.
Morgan May Treuil [00:31:06]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:31:06]:
And that helps you to tie a bow around something and to move on from it.
Leslie [00:31:11]:
And so, like, finishing well at the spot you're at.
Morgan [00:31:14]:
Yeah. And I think that has everything to do with how aware you are and how, like, connected to yourself. You are too. Like, I think we. We can get a little torn up over. I was talking to somebody a couple days ago, and they were talking about this study they had read where, you know how people in funeral. With funerals and stuff, when people pass, they're doing like, more celebration of life than funeral. So they're asking people like, don't wear black.
Morgan [00:31:43]:
Don't, you know, don't. This. We're gonna laugh. We're gonna have fun. And I. I like the sentiment of that because I don't think that, you know, I wouldn't want my funeral to be just weeping and gnashing of teeth. But the studies are saying no one's gnashing their teeth. I hope no one's gnashing their teeth either.
Morgan [00:31:58]:
I'm not even sure what.
Leslie [00:31:58]:
I want people to mourn.
Morgan [00:32:00]:
Yes, I want people to mourn my funeral too. But. But there's a science to it, to where the actual thing that happens at a funeral that's sad, where you're wearing all black and you're. You're lamenting and you're grieving, like you're really sitting in the loss.
Morgan May Treuil [00:32:15]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:32:16]:
Afterwards, it does feel like you've been able to process something and move through something versus if. If it's more like celebration of life where it's more like bright colors. And, you know, we're. We're sad, but we're not because we'll see them again. It's like, yes, that's a part of it. But if you skip past the morning of something, you're not giving your body the ability to actually mourn something. Therefore it might not actually move through your system. Right.
Morgan [00:32:42]:
And so the idea is morning is actually really good for you. Grieving is actually really good for you. But we spend all of our time trying to avoid that. And I think sometimes with these big change in seasons, like college and high school and adulthood and, you know, going from singleness to marriage, going from marriage to your first kid, it's like we forget to grieve things because I think we're scared of letting things go that we know and we're fearful of embracing unknown. I think we have, like a grieving problem.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:14]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:33:14]:
And therefore we get stuck in transition periods. Like, not fully ready to move into something new.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:22]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:33:22]:
Not ready to let something go because we don't allow ourselves to mourn it. Like it. I think when you graduate from high school, there should be a period of time, not long, where you actually mourn all the stuff that you're leaving and you cry over it, and you allow yourself to feel all of it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:38]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:33:39]:
And then when you get to college or whatever your next step is, that can be a time where you're like, now I feel excitement and possibility, and I've closed things down here so that I can start something new. Like, I feel like we maybe, like, segment ourselves too much.
Leslie [00:33:53]:
That's so true.
Morgan [00:33:54]:
Keep ourselves in certain places and not others. Maybe like, the idea of being present where you are, but also the idea that you have to grieve and make space to grieve, or else you're not going to be able to enter into new seasons.
Leslie [00:34:09]:
Well, yeah, I think that's really good, and I think you're right, because if we don't grieve it, then when you go into the new season, you're still kind of like, have one foot in the other one.
Morgan May Treuil [00:34:19]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:34:20]:
I think that's one of the biggest things, is, like, trusting that God has a future for you and not that ev. And to be honest, not every season is going to be the best season ever. Maybe your high school season was so awesome. Maybe your college season might be a little bit hard. It's gonna have great moments every. Every season of your life. Like, we always put in a category in our life. That was a good season, that was a bad season.
Leslie [00:34:44]:
That was a good season. But the reality is both joy and sadness can live in the same spot, too. So you could have a really hard, like, if you actually looked at your high school. A lot of times people say hindsight's 20 20. I don't think that's true. I think hindsight is, like, totally skewed with wherever you're at now.
Morgan May Treuil [00:35:01]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:35:01]:
It's like you're. Maybe you graduated college and you're like, I'm gonna miss high school or I'm gonna miss college. And then you really look back at college and you're like, I had a lot of really hard times, but I had a lot of really good ones, too. So I feel like when you don't let yourself leave that scenario and go into the new one fully and really be present, then it does muddy the waters a little bit. And I think some of that, too. Just like a practical thing I was thinking about was something that I think a lot of people do, Especially if you're going away to school or you're going away somewhere else, because you're kind of still living in the past because that was easier and more comfortable. You tend to want to go back there a lot. Like, people go away to college, but they come home every weekend or they get married, but every night they still go to their parents house or X, Y, and Z.
Leslie [00:35:53]:
There's a ton of different examples, I think, that will not let you fully live into the new section. And even when it's a hard section, like, there's seasons. Oh, this was my train of thought before. There's seasons that are easier and more comfortable and maybe a little more joyful. And then there's seasons that are really hard. But we have to trust that God is sovereign over all of those seasons and that they are all building you to something that's great. To me, like, I wish I could sit here and say that college was the best season of my life. It was not like, I walked through, like, the biggest breakup of my life or not of my life now.
Leslie [00:36:28]:
But back then, during college, I had a first year that was really fun, but really, really hard.
Morgan May Treuil [00:36:35]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:36:35]:
My second year and third year, I felt like I was trying to figure out my friend group. Like, I had certain friends that were great. Certain friends that I was like, I just don't feel like we're connecting as much.
Morgan May Treuil [00:36:43]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:36:44]:
Senior year was really fun, but I still was excited to move on to, like, adulthood.
Morgan May Treuil [00:36:49]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:36:49]:
And I don't look back at that season and go, oh, I want to relive that again. But I also look back at that season and go, oh, but that is what, like, my. I would talk to my dad all the time. Cause I'd be like, this is so hard. College should be really, really fun. And I just don't feel like I'm having that much fun.
Morgan May Treuil [00:37:08]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:37:09]:
And I remember him telling me this. He was like, well, it's totally up to you. He was so supportive. He's like, you can do whatever you want. Like, if you want to come home and go to school back here, you totally can. But it was like, part of me just felt like, no, I'm not going to do that. Like, I'm going to stick this out. And he's like, but I think someday you're gonna get married.
Leslie [00:37:28]:
And I think you need to have a track record of staying when things are hard. And he's like, this might be a great opportunity to learn how to stick through something that's difficult.
Morgan May Treuil [00:37:38]:
It's difficult.
Leslie [00:37:39]:
Cause it's like, someday you're gonna be in a job that you're like, this is not fun right now. I want out, but you're gonna stick through it. And he's like, there's gonna be a time in your marriage where you're like, this is not fun. I don't wanna be here. But you're gonna stick through it because you've taught yourself, you've trained your hard.
Morgan [00:37:56]:
It's great.
Leslie [00:37:57]:
And so I think that honestly, is one of the biggest lessons I learned from college.
Morgan [00:38:01]:
That's awesome.
Leslie [00:38:02]:
And yeah.
Morgan [00:38:04]:
So I like the. The depressuring of. What if this season doesn't have to be the best season? Because if all the seasons are the best, then none of them are the best. Right. Then they're actually all the worst because they're not special. And I like that, that. That you always thought college would be like, the best and actually that wasn't the best. But in.
Morgan [00:38:25]:
By comparison, you can see how much better other seasons are. Like, oh, yeah. The transition that I was the most scared of. And I. I don't know why. High school to college. I think high school to college wasn't as hard for me because I don't remember having much time in college because I was getting a degree that required, like, all this outside rehearsal space. So I kind of felt like I went from like one dance team to another dance team.
Morgan [00:38:53]:
And then the whole, like, sorority thing. It kind of felt like all of my time was taken from me. And maybe not always in a good way.
Morgan May Treuil [00:39:00]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:39:01]:
But it sort of. I don't know that I actually felt like I knew what happened to me in college until I was graduated from college. And I was like, that flew by and I don't even know what I even did, really.
Morgan May Treuil [00:39:13]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:39:14]:
But for me, the harder transition was going from college into adulthood. And I think for me, the. The fear in that. And. And I guarantee you a lot of people are feeling this right now in this season too, because they're either just gradu. Graduated from college or. I even talked to a friend yesterday that made a career move to move to a different city. And the friendship thing, it's a big city, and the friendship thing has just been so hard.
Morgan [00:39:37]:
Like in your 30s, making friends. We should talk about that on an episode at some point. Being in your 30s and making friends is so hard because in your 30s, people have these really well defined routines, either because they are bossing it at their jobs and they do the job really well and they're busy or because they had these kids that they're chasing around. So everyone's all over the place. Right. Anyways, I remember thinking, like, I'm really freaked out about adulthood because every. Every season that I've had someone's, you know, sort of told me what I'm supposed to do with it. Whether it's high school and you kind of like, you know what you're supposed to do because you're required to be there by law.
Morgan [00:40:20]:
By law or with college. I didn't even know that college was an option because my parents were always like, college is not an option. And I don't know that we'll actually say that for our kids because I think the world looks different now. But at that time it was like, no, this is the next thing that you do. And you do it for four years.
Leslie [00:40:35]:
And you had dreams where it was like, I'm giving you 30 girls. This is your schedule or whatever to hang out with every day.
Morgan [00:40:41]:
This is your schedule, this is what you do. And then for the first time going into adulthood, no one was telling me what to do. And the sec. The third thing is, for the first time in my life, I didn't have something super like flashy or glamorous that I was going to. You know what I'm saying? Like, when I graduated from high school, I was going to a school that I was excited about pursuing a degree that I was excited about. I had like pledged this sorority I was excited about. It was something to go to. And then I graduated in December and my first job was long term subbing for a teacher who had gone out on maternity leave.
Morgan [00:41:19]:
So I was jumping in like midway through the year as a non permanent substitute teacher at this high school where all the kids were like midway through their year. It felt like the most anticlimactic. Yeah, start to something. And I feel like that season of adulthood, which was around two and a half years and it's the season right before I came here, it was basically from 2017 to 2020. So like, yeah, three years basically. That felt like the most anticlimactic time in my life. Like everything felt so am I supposed to be doing this? Is God saying to do this? Doesn't really feel like it, but this is the thing I have to do to make money. Like, now that I look back on it, there were a couple firsts that happened in that season.
Morgan [00:42:06]:
There was like I bought, I rented my first apartment by myself. I took on my first ministry job. I had my first, you know, long term sub job outside of college. There were a couple firsts that were in there, but none of it felt good or big or like accomplishment. And the, the friendships, because of where I lived, felt like I had three friends that I spent all of my time with. But then the community was much older than me. So then that, that Part felt. Felt like pretty dry.
Morgan [00:42:41]:
And so anyways, I just remember thinking like I was in that season for three years, thinking, I don't know where else to be, but this feels. I feel so lost and purposeless and like, is this the thing they were talking about when they said you're gonna go out into the world and you know, do these big things? And I had to have a sort of like a come to Jesus self check moment where someone who was older than me was like, what are these big things that you thought you would do? And why do big things have to look like this? What if your big things looked like this? And it was a. I think it was a good season because I. I look back on it and think that was really hard. Felt very anonymous.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:20]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:43:21]:
In the sense that I just didn't know who I was and didn't know what I wanted to do nothing about it. Felt like I was living into the purpose of like, who I was called to be. Nothing felt noteworthy, but I did. I do feel like there was something to be learned for like the quiet life of, you know, doing the things that God said to do in his word without it feeling like a big deal.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:45]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:43:46]:
And yeah. I. You saying not every season has to be the best season. That's kind of freeing.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:51]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:43:52]:
Because then if you're in a season right now that you don't like.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:55]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:43:55]:
This doesn't have to be your forever.
Leslie [00:43:57]:
No.
Morgan [00:43:57]:
Something new will come.
Leslie [00:43:59]:
Yeah. When you're in a good season.
Morgan May Treuil [00:44:00]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:44:00]:
Unfortunately won't last forever. And when you're in a bad season, fortunately, it won't last forever.
Morgan [00:44:04]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's all change. It's always changing. And there's something. And also this is, you know, this is. To all the people that it's like, it's not a, A natural next step at the end of that three year period was when Covet happened and Covid was kind of like this jarring stand still pause.
Leslie [00:44:24]:
You're like, if I thought life was.
Morgan [00:44:25]:
Slow before and I freaked out because I thought life was. It was like I felt like my life was slow before COVID And then Covid happened and then I went into full blown crisis mode where I was like, oh, no, my life is not. My life is nothing. Like it's fully paused. There were some really fun parts to it. Cause the girls, my sisters were in college and their campus just shut down. So they actually came home and we all moved back into mom and dad's. So it was this sweet moment where we're all together.
Morgan [00:44:53]:
Again. But then also that moment where you're like, I'm back in high school. Like, we're all living under the same roof during a pandemic.
Leslie [00:45:02]:
And for you, who is so like, I want to move forward in life, and I want this.
Morgan [00:45:06]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:45:06]:
And that. Yeah.
Morgan [00:45:07]:
And I felt like I had just spent three years giving that up, being like, okay, God, I'm content to be where I am. I won't move until you say. But now it's like, oh. Anyways. All that to say, though, is like, during that big pause is when God brought about another opportunity when I wasn't expecting it. And then going to that next opportunity. There were. There are lots of things about where I am now that feel way more rich in terms of community, relational wealth.
Morgan May Treuil [00:45:36]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:45:36]:
Career stuff. And it was like, I had no idea that it was, like, a month away when I was in such depths of despair about it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:45:45]:
Yes.
Morgan [00:45:46]:
And then I'm sure after this season that I'm in, you know, like, maybe motherhood brings a new. A new season where I can't, you know, do certain things in the same way. I'm sure that I'll go through a spurt where it's like, okay, this doesn't feel as fulfilling as the last thing did. But then at least you always know that it's coming. Like, yes, the boat never stops coming. So then there's always a chance to get to do something you love.
Leslie [00:46:09]:
Exactly.
Morgan [00:46:09]:
And to feel fulfilled.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:10]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:46:11]:
So I love that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:13]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:46:14]:
I think that's so true. And I think that when you're in it, you just feel like this is never gonna end.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:23]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:46:23]:
And it's like, the good news is there's things you can do during those times. Like, it's not like either of us. Like, if we actually were honest about. In those seasons that were hard, like your post college and my, like, early college days, I was like, okay, I can't sit here and just cry all day.
Morgan [00:46:41]:
No.
Leslie [00:46:41]:
Like, I gotta get out there and start doing stuff. And so I remember going, I am gonna try out. One of the big things was, like, we could not find a church that felt it all, like, Bayside.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:54]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:46:54]:
Which is hard. We went to so many churches, and I had to, like, readjust my expectations and be like, okay, I'll go to a place that I feel like if they teach God's word, they worship and basically just teach the Bible, then sure, that's good.
Morgan [00:47:07]:
You had to be like, okay. I'm actually not trying to find base that anymore. I have to find something different. That also works.
Leslie [00:47:12]:
That's actually something that probably everybody should listen to. Like, I'm not trying to recreate what I just had.
Morgan [00:47:20]:
That's good.
Leslie [00:47:20]:
I need to lean into what's new that maybe God has. That actually could end up being better.
Morgan [00:47:25]:
That's where you get stuck, I think.
Morgan May Treuil [00:47:27]:
Yes.
Morgan [00:47:27]:
Is trying to find a replacement for the old when it might. This season might be about something totally different. Yes.
Leslie [00:47:34]:
Yeah, exactly. And. But I look back and I go, okay. I really like, I. I really was like, okay, I'm gonna make friends. So like we ended up making some great friends and by just putting ourselves out there, I mean, I didn't have the opportunity to come home every weekend because I lived like 10 hours away.
Morgan May Treuil [00:47:52]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:47:52]:
You and me had similar distances for college.
Leslie [00:47:55]:
It was close enough to go visit occasionally, but like an hour plane ride.
Morgan [00:47:58]:
But like a 10 hour drive, which is not. Yeah, yeah.
Leslie [00:48:02]:
So I would say, like, dig into friendships. Like find any possible way to meet people. Like whether you're in college or you're in high school or you're out of college, I think people will think out of college. Oh great. I'll have no friends.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:14]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:48:15]:
My greatest group of friends has been post college.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:18]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:48:18]:
It's right now the most fun.
Leslie [00:48:20]:
I feel like I'm living in the college days.
Morgan [00:48:23]:
I'm like, me too.
Leslie [00:48:24]:
We all just hang out all the time.
Morgan [00:48:25]:
All the time.
Leslie [00:48:26]:
And it's so fun. And. And if you would have told me. Cause I thought when I was leaving college I kind of like I had some great friends, but I felt like I missed out on certain things that I thought college would bring. And God's like, just wait. Like I have other things in store for you. And I'm actually glad because this doesn't have to have an end date.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:43]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:48:44]:
Your college ends in four years and this doesn't have to.
Morgan [00:48:47]:
This can last. Yeah, I didn't expect that either.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:50]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:48:50]:
Putting yourself out there, finding friends and not settling on friendship. I think sometimes in college you watch freshman year, people go out and they just start gravitating towards people and then they hold onto them because they're like, I can't be alone. Like I have to be with somebody. But to me it's like whether you're at a Christian school, a non Christian school, find like groups or maybe that's like a Christian group. If you're at a non Christian school and find people who have commonality to you and who you get along with and who will be like encouraging to you and don't stop until you find them so good. I think I stopped a little early on certain things, and I wish that I had pushed through that because I think it would have changed my experience. So, just like you don't settle in relationships, I don't think you should settle in friendships.
Morgan [00:49:37]:
No, you shouldn't. And again, we've talked about this in previous episodes, too. But the problem with moving to a new place and taking on a new season is that not doing it alone is one of the biggest parts of it. But we tend to fall into that trap of, well, friendships kind of just happen because they happen for me in high school. They happen for me at the church I grew up in.
Morgan May Treuil [00:49:58]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:49:58]:
And when you move on to, like, the college phase or the adulthood phase, this is when friendships start to change in the sense that they don't just happen to you. They're not accidental. They require a lot of work and effort. And so what I like about. And this, this was. This was true of college. I forgot about this part because I made some really great friends in college that feel like forever friends, too. But my first wave of college friends actually wasn't the forever friends.
Morgan [00:50:26]:
It was just the friends that you cling to because you're either in the same dorm or you're in the same group for something, and you kind of just all hook arms and try to make something happen. And I wouldn't get discouraged over the fact that the first friends that you meet maybe don't become, like, lifelong friends. Yeah, I would. I would be encouraged by the fact that you really only have one responsibility, and that is to be a pursuer of people and to start rallying groups together, put yourself out there, go to things, go to events, go to Bible studies, go to that stuff, even when it's awkward and uncomfortable, because it's that work that ends up being the stuff that creates the relationships. But it does not just happen. So it's one of those things where you have to kind of, like, decide on the way there. Okay. This first year is going to be exhausting in a lot of ways because I'm going to be doing a lot of putting myself out there.
Morgan May Treuil [00:51:19]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:51:20]:
And the return might not be in this first year, but I'm trusting the return will be in the following years. And I remember that having that conversation with my parents, even moving from Texas to California, like, on. On the drive here, because the only person I really knew in coming here was you.
Morgan May Treuil [00:51:37]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:51:38]:
And I didn't know that our friendship was going to grow into other friendships. We had to have this Once we talked one time, I didn't know what this would be.
Morgan May Treuil [00:51:46]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:51:46]:
And so then it's like that same sort of pep talk of, hey, this first year is probably going to be exhausting because there's a few things you have built in that's going to be awesome. You already have your church community figured out, because you work in a church, you're already living with three girls. So you have that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:52:01]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:52:01]:
But everything else, you're gonna have to be like, I'm gonna put my, you know, my boots to the ground. I'm gonna ask people to go to coffee. I'm gonna initiate things. I'm gonna be a starter. I'm not just gonna be a sitter.
Morgan May Treuil [00:52:14]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:52:14]:
Because there's. There are two ways that you can do the whole, like moving to a new place and doing friendships. You can be someone who initiates, or you can be someone who kind of sits back and waits to be initiated with. And it doesn't always happen. So the faster that you want a return on your new place or your new season, that's all dependent on how quick you get to work with the whole friendship thing. And unfortunately, at first it is work, but if you treat it like that, eventually it'll start to yield, and that'll be the fun part, you know?
Leslie [00:52:42]:
Totally.
Morgan [00:52:43]:
I would say that to add on to your. Your point about the community and the friendships piece of it, going backwards to the whole church thing, I would get some rhythms in place that you immediately start to do. If. If it's church, then, like, church, obviously, if it's a small group, add that in. If it's a workout place or routine. Yeah, do that. If it's a school schedule, if it's a work schedule, like, yeah, stick to your routines and fill your schedule so that you're not moving to a new place. And then you're stuck in an apartment where you know nobody and you have nothing going on in your life.
Leslie [00:53:22]:
Like, do you feel this way? I feel like our lives are pretty full right now.
Morgan [00:53:26]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:53:26]:
With friends and relationships and all that kind of stuff. Stuff. And there's still days. If this just encourages anybody who's like, well, yeah, easy for you guys. You have this group of friends you talk about. There are days where I sit. If I'm. If I'm home alone for an extended period of time, I'm like, I have no.
Morgan [00:53:41]:
I have nobody.
Morgan May Treuil [00:53:42]:
This sucks.
Morgan [00:53:43]:
I've been. I've been laid desolate here.
Leslie [00:53:45]:
No, it's like, don't underestimate the value of keeping your Schedule. Not numbing yourself by keeping your schedule so full. But get out. Like, we're not supposed to sit around all day by ourselves.
Morgan [00:53:56]:
No, you're not. No matter who you are, you're not. And it's good to do stuff by yourself. But, but do stuff, you know, like, like go out and, and get something done. And, and then like the, the, the thing to that too, of like, your schedule and your routine and your places don't have to match what you did in high school. I don't have to match what you did in your hometown. They can be different because you're different and your season's different. So you get to like.
Morgan [00:54:18]:
And that's the cool part we probably don't think about that much is the chance to get to go to college. I wish I could go back and tell myself, hey, go sit down at a coffee shop by yourself and write down like in one column, you know, what were the values that you held in your family when you were here and then now? Like, what of those values do you want to bring over into this new column, which is your new space, your new life? And then what are some other things that are important to you that you would want to add? I think if we should probably be taking some more like, like stock, you know, and I wish I had done that too in coming here. I wish I had done some stock of, okay, this is what I was about and who I was, you know, as I was leaving Texas, as I was leaving that first phase of young adulthood. Here are some things I want to take. Here's some stuff I want to start here. I think a lot of that happens by accident too. You know, you got a lot of people that are just kind of letting life happen to them, me included. And then before you know it, you kind of just do things because it's how you've always done them.
Morgan [00:55:21]:
But the really cool people that are like legacy builders that we follow, the ones in scripture and the ones outside of, you know, the ones that are just in the world today are people that took a stand for something and were like, this is what I'm gonna build my life on. These are the habits I'm gonna incorporate. And that, that, that practice needs a decision making time where you like, sit and you process and you reflect. Yeah, I think that could be a cool way to make some of your big transitions, especially if you got a big summer where you can before you leave for school or before you move to your next job. Yes, you can sit and you can actually do some of this work to decide some things.
Leslie [00:55:59]:
That's really practical. I like that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:56:01]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:56:01]:
Kind of writing down, like, what do you want to be about in this next season? Maybe what are things you want to do? Almost like Bucket List meets, like, your own, you know, character inside. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, I really like that. I think, whatever. Like, just to kind of cap off this episode, I feel like whatever season you're going into, don't maybe make a judgment right now about how it's gonna be, whether you're. Maybe you're terrified of going to college or you're terrified of graduating college. And you're like, this is gonna suck. It may not.
Leslie [00:56:34]:
It actually may be the other thing of what you're thinking, or you may be going in, going, this is gonna be perfect. It's gonna be just like it was. And maybe it won't. But with all of those, nothing is useless in this life. No, like, wasted time, no wasted years, no wasted experiences. I think God can use everything, and if we're present enough to experience it all. Yeah, I think it's quite a ride.
Morgan May Treuil [00:57:00]:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Morgan [00:57:03]:
The thing you said at the beginning, too, like, maybe. Maybe it's like, don't make a decision about how something's going to be. But then also, maybe all expectations could be adjusted and the starting line of your expectations is like a baseline.
Leslie [00:57:15]:
Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [00:57:16]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Morgan [00:57:17]:
Like, I think that would protect people's totally. Because you never have a problem getting excited about stuff. No, like, that's never a problem for me. I have a hard time coming down from things that I thought were going to be a certain way. Like, disappointment is harder for me than getting excited about something.
Leslie [00:57:33]:
Exactly. And also, if you're going to college, don't. Don't make my mistake and do a 7am class. Yes, my first semester at 7am Aerobics class, but not, like, fun aerobics. It was like, a lame thing.
Morgan [00:57:46]:
And then. Yeah. I don't know why I feel the need to, like, actually, that's really good advice. But I don't. I don't know why I feel the need to. To just add this, too, that if you're young and you're listening to this, I hope. I hope that you do take a risk at some point of going away from the hometown, like, whether that's to college and you're going, you know, eight to 10 hours away, or maybe you're taking that gap year or, like, that study abroad. I'm saying that I know that finances are not always in favor of those kinds of things, but I just think a huge part of who I am today is because of, like, some of the bigger adventurous moves.
Morgan [00:58:27]:
To choose to leave what you knew and to go to something that's brand new and different, that's always a risk. Right. Anytime you change your season, you are at risk for leaving something awesome and going to something that either is going to be more awesome or it could be less awesome. The encouragement to that is whatever you left won't stay as awesome forever. It will have ebbs and flows, ups and downs. So just so you know, like, staying in the same place forever doesn't mean that you're always going to be happy there.
Leslie [00:58:57]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:58:57]:
Yeah. At the same time, going somewhere new and experiencing something lesser doesn't mean it's always going to be lesser.
Morgan May Treuil [00:59:04]:
Yeah.
Morgan [00:59:05]:
And it could be greater. So I do think that we avoid risk sometimes, again, because we just don't know what we're getting ourselves into. I think that's the whole point of the faith thing. It's the assurance of. I forget the scripture reference, but faith.
Leslie [00:59:21]:
Is what we're assuring.
Morgan [00:59:22]:
The assurance of things hoped for in the faith of things not seen or something. I don't know. I don't. I think that. I think that's hope or it's faith or it's. I'm not. I'm not 100. I need to go look at it.
Morgan [00:59:32]:
But basically, it's like. I think that's a huge part of faith. There's a reason why they call them faith moves. It's not like, you know exactly. It's not a prescribed method. You don't know exactly what's going to happen. And that's kind of just part of the life thing.
Morgan May Treuil [00:59:44]:
Yeah.
Leslie [00:59:45]:
So anyways, so we hope we answered your question.
Morgan [00:59:49]:
Or maybe we just talked a lot about all the different parts of it, which can be helpful, too.
Leslie [00:59:53]:
No, I wish that I had listened to this. This episode when I went to college.
Morgan [00:59:57]:
Yes.
Leslie [00:59:58]:
Toot our own horn. But no, but I needed it. I feel like there's. There's so many things. Because she asked us. She's like, what things did you learn the hard way? What's. Wish you wish you knew that you didn't have to learn.
Morgan May Treuil [01:00:08]:
Yeah.
Leslie [01:00:09]:
And I'm like, that's basically.
Morgan [01:00:10]:
Those are things.
Leslie [01:00:11]:
Those are some things. Yeah.
Morgan [01:00:12]:
That's good.
Leslie [01:00:13]:
We could probably do a whole nother episode on.
Morgan [01:00:14]:
I know that. I know. We should. We should do one, though, on what happens when you leave college and you have to go into your adulthood. Yeah. You're the late 20s, 30s, season is weird.
Leslie [01:00:24]:
Yeah.
Morgan [01:00:25]:
For a lot of people.
Morgan May Treuil [01:00:26]:
Yeah.
Morgan [01:00:27]:
Because if you think about that, that's the time in life when the. The. It's the biggest variety of life seasons all in one age.
Morgan May Treuil [01:00:36]:
Yeah.
Morgan [01:00:36]:
You know, everyone you go to college with is mostly doing college with no marriage and no kids. But in your 30s, everyone's life looks different that you're the same age as. Yeah, that's. That's a weird thing.
Leslie [01:00:47]:
Yeah, we'll do an episode on that for sure.
Morgan [01:00:49]:
Okay.
Leslie [01:00:50]:
Okay. Well, if you have got a question or a situation.
Morgan May Treuil [01:00:54]:
Yeah.
Leslie [01:00:55]:
That you want to have us talk about.
Morgan May Treuil [01:00:57]:
Yeah.
Leslie [01:00:57]:
Email. DM us on Instagram. Am I doing this right? Or you can email us@amidoingthispodcast gmail.com. yeah, I wonder if anyone's emailed. Am I doing this right@gmail.com?
Morgan [01:01:08]:
Should probably check if.
Leslie [01:01:09]:
Well, we don't have that. Oh, I should email them.
Morgan [01:01:12]:
Well, then it'll bounce back.
Leslie [01:01:13]:
Hey.
Morgan [01:01:14]:
Hey. Can we have this?
Leslie [01:01:15]:
No, because someone. Someone has it. It.
Morgan [01:01:16]:
Oh.
Leslie [01:01:17]:
So, hey, can you send us.
Morgan [01:01:19]:
Send us these.
Leslie [01:01:19]:
These messages.
Morgan [01:01:21]:
That's funny.
Leslie [01:01:22]:
Oh, well, we love you guys. We will see you next Monday.
Morgan [01:01:28]:
Next Monday.
Leslie [01:01:29]:
Bye.
Morgan [01:01:30]:
Bye.