Morgan May Treuil [00:00:00]:
Okay, welcome back to Am I doing this Right? First and foremost, before we say anything else, it is the most special day of the entire year.
Joey Speers [00:00:09]:
Wow.
Morgan May Treuil [00:00:09]:
This is the biggest day maybe in all of life.
Leslie Johnston [00:00:12]:
It's Adam Sandler's birthday. Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [00:00:14]:
And it's your guys birthday today.
Joey Speers [00:00:17]:
That's true.
Christy Speers [00:00:17]:
That's our favorite twins.
Leslie Johnston [00:00:20]:
Christy's back. We actually need a flavor for this to be on our birthday, having you and Joey on. But it is kind of fun to be able to shoot a podcast on our birthday.
Morgan May Treuil [00:00:27]:
I think it's really fun.
Joey Speers [00:00:28]:
Get the birthday glow going.
Morgan May Treuil [00:00:29]:
Birthday glow, Birthday Glo.
Morgan May Treuil [00:00:31]:
They glow.
Leslie Johnston [00:00:32]:
You know what's funny though? Benji, Morgan's husband, we were all texting this morning, just me, Benji, and Morgan and. All right, I think Michael's on it too.
Christy Speers [00:00:41]:
Thanks, guys.
Leslie Johnston [00:00:43]:
I forget how the text started this morning, but Morgan's.
Joey Speers [00:00:46]:
Christy didn't hear from you till like two days ago.
Leslie Johnston [00:00:48]:
Benji had asked me a question about something non birthday related. And Morgan's like, benji, have you even wished Leslie a happy birthday? And I was like, no, but there's certain people who would just be weird.
Morgan May Treuil [00:00:58]:
If they said happy birthday.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:00]:
And I also said to you, to be honest, I haven't even wished Christy a happy birthday.
Christy Speers [00:01:03]:
I was going to say, I don't think as twins, you wish each other happy birthday.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:06]:
It's just weird. It's weird. You don't wish each other.
Christy Speers [00:01:09]:
We don't wish each other happy birthday.
Joey Speers [00:01:10]:
Okay, but that you do a public post. But there's no.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:12]:
Like, I thought of this morning, like, should I text Kristy happy birthday? And then I'm like, that'd be weird.
Christy Speers [00:01:17]:
I know. I thought the same thing.
Morgan May Treuil [00:01:18]:
That's weird to me that y' all wouldn't wake up and the first person you would text wouldn't be each other.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:22]:
It has been in years past sometimes.
Christy Speers [00:01:24]:
Yeah, maybe we lived apart, maybe. But when we're together, it's kind of like we're sharing this.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:29]:
Do you feel, like, weird?
Christy Speers [00:01:31]:
Like, you guys.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:32]:
Equivalent to that would be like, you don't live together.
Morgan May Treuil [00:01:35]:
We don't currently live in the same.
Christy Speers [00:01:37]:
This is like a state apart. Like.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:39]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of.
Christy Speers [00:01:41]:
It's like how we used to not hug either. Like, this is what it would be like the day you hug each other.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:47]:
No, this would be like the day.
Morgan May Treuil [00:01:49]:
Came into this world hugging each other, literally. And you don't hug anymore.
Leslie Johnston [00:01:53]:
I've never known you guys, but when.
Christy Speers [00:01:55]:
We were growing up, it's like, you didn't. I didn't Hug Leslie. It wasn't like we ever said goodbye or, like, anything like that. Kind of just. You just were like, oh, yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:02:04]:
It would be the same thing as, like, the day you give birth, everyone's gonna be like, congratulations. You would not. Congrat. You probably wouldn't tell Benji. Congratulations.
Christy Speers [00:02:13]:
You wouldn't say happy birthday to your baby the day the baby's born.
Leslie Johnston [00:02:16]:
Right. Every birthday after that you might.
Morgan May Treuil [00:02:19]:
But after that you would, though.
Leslie Johnston [00:02:21]:
But, yeah, you're not like, hey, congratulations on the baby. Because he's like, yeah, you too. Like, obviously.
Christy Speers [00:02:25]:
So it's kind of like you feel.
Morgan May Treuil [00:02:26]:
Like if you were to say it to her, she's just thinking back because it's. She has to. It's like, okay, well, it's your birthday too. Pointless. It's pointless. There's no reason, is what you're saying.
Leslie Johnston [00:02:34]:
It's just weird.
Morgan May Treuil [00:02:36]:
I don't fully understand it. I also, now that I'm thinking about.
Christy Speers [00:02:39]:
It, y' all don't hug.
Morgan May Treuil [00:02:40]:
And that's weird.
Leslie Johnston [00:02:41]:
We only hug if we're, like, leaving each other. But it's really strange to hug. It's really strange to hug somebody who is the same person as you. Basically, I'm, like, hugging myself.
Christy Speers [00:02:52]:
I'm like, leslie, you're so bony.
Leslie Johnston [00:02:55]:
I know. I hug Christy. I'm like. I feel like I'm not even hugging anything. I'm, like, so tiny.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:00]:
That's so funny. That's so funny. Anyways.
Leslie Johnston [00:03:03]:
Anyways.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:04]:
Okay, well, we have to introduce who Joey is. But before we do that, really quick, one birthday question for you guys. This is putting on the spot, okay? If you had to sum up, like, your last year in one. This was the year that I did this. How would you finish that?
Christy Speers [00:03:22]:
This was the year I got through the puppy blues.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:25]:
Oh, good, good. Okay. I like it.
Christy Speers [00:03:28]:
And now we're in puppy bliss.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:30]:
You are in puppy bliss.
Leslie Johnston [00:03:31]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:32]:
You have a puppy dog now.
Leslie Johnston [00:03:33]:
This was the year I hated the house that I bought and then ended the year with being like, this is the greatest place I've ever lived.
Christy Speers [00:03:41]:
This.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:41]:
This is awesome.
Joey Speers [00:03:42]:
It's a good year.
Christy Speers [00:03:44]:
Showings of hate things when they usually start. And then we love this.
Leslie Johnston [00:03:47]:
I have buyer's remorse. I have big time buyer's remorse. Except for clothes. I like most of the clothes I get.
Morgan May Treuil [00:03:56]:
But you'll do a return?
Joey Speers [00:03:58]:
Maybe she's not scared of a return.
Leslie Johnston [00:04:02]:
I should start a returns business. People can give me their stuff to return and I'll do it. And then I take a portion of.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:07]:
The money I would save Money paying you to do my return.
Christy Speers [00:04:10]:
That's very true.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:11]:
The return doesn't do returns. Sit in my house.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:13]:
Yes. Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:14]:
Okay. Joey, we brought you my doing this right podcast.
Joey Speers [00:04:20]:
Honestly, straight up, I forgot how much you guys like just yap at the beginning of these. Like we have a podcast. Not plugging us, but like, we just get into it. It is a totally different industry. But I'm like, I love how you guys just start and it's like, we're professional.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:34]:
We have somewhere that you have to take people.
Leslie Johnston [00:04:36]:
This is actually.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:36]:
This is the destination.
Leslie Johnston [00:04:38]:
There's kind is us taking this quicker than we normally.
Christy Speers [00:04:42]:
We don't have to do that.
Joey Speers [00:04:45]:
Sit in the corner for Joey.
Christy Speers [00:04:46]:
Joey can yap.
Leslie Johnston [00:04:47]:
He's a part of the girls text. Christy and I have a group text with Joey called girls trip.
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:52]:
I love that.
Christy Speers [00:04:52]:
Also, who is Joey?
Morgan May Treuil [00:04:56]:
Wait, so Christy, you. You should introduce Joey and then Joey should introduce Joey.
Christy Speers [00:05:01]:
Okay.
Morgan May Treuil [00:05:01]:
Also, if everyone doesn't know, Chrissy's now our most most frequented guess on am I doing this right?
Christy Speers [00:05:06]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:05:07]:
Love that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:05:07]:
She's also Leslie's twin sister, in case you didn't know.
Joey Speers [00:05:10]:
She doesn't hug. They don't hug and they don't wish.
Leslie Johnston [00:05:14]:
Only when we're going different places. Like states apart.
Christy Speers [00:05:19]:
Yes, that's it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:05:20]:
So you introduce Joey and then Joey can introduce Joey. Okay. I'm curious how they're different.
Christy Speers [00:05:24]:
This is Joey. Joey is my husband. He is the funniest person you'll talk to, but also the most pump up person you'll ever talk to. So if you want to do something, whether it's jump off a cliff and not in like a bad way, but like a fun way, you want to jump off a cliff, you want to like, start a business, you want to do anything that you're afraid of, Joey is the biggest hype man ever to help you get there. And that's probably the most, like, succinct way I can describe Joey. The best cheerleader and hype man ever.
Morgan May Treuil [00:05:53]:
That's great.
Joey Speers [00:05:54]:
I love it. I'm Joey. I'm Kristy's husband and I'm. And that's my favorite thing about me.
Leslie Johnston [00:06:03]:
That's not even fake. Joey says this stuff all the time.
Morgan May Treuil [00:06:05]:
No, Joey loves Christy.
Joey Speers [00:06:07]:
I love Christy.
Morgan May Treuil [00:06:07]:
There are husbands that like, really love their wives.
Joey Speers [00:06:09]:
I said something this morning. No, I said something yesterday. You remember what I said yesterday in the car with your mom?
Leslie Johnston [00:06:14]:
What is looking at me?
Joey Speers [00:06:16]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:06:16]:
Oh, Is that inappropriate?
Joey Speers [00:06:17]:
Maybe a little bit.
Christy Speers [00:06:19]:
What is it? No, but just watch your discretion.
Morgan May Treuil [00:06:23]:
We can Edit it in the post. This is like.
Leslie Johnston [00:06:25]:
Wait, say it.
Joey Speers [00:06:26]:
Well, yeah. No, no, I'm not gonna say it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:06:29]:
Okay.
Leslie Johnston [00:06:29]:
Don't say, keep going.
Joey Speers [00:06:30]:
Keep going.
Leslie Johnston [00:06:30]:
If Joey's not gonna say something, it definitely is bad. Unhinged knock. Joey is unhing. Anything Joey says and it offends you. You can go to Creative Rides.
Joey Speers [00:06:43]:
It will not be said there. No, this is. It's in real life.
Christy Speers [00:06:47]:
Joe's originally from Canada.
Joey Speers [00:06:49]:
Yep.
Christy Speers [00:06:50]:
He has since married me and moved here, and so now he is a US US Resident going towards citizenship.
Joey Speers [00:06:56]:
Soon to be citizen.
Christy Speers [00:06:57]:
Literally. Have a immigration call tomorrow.
Joey Speers [00:06:59]:
Tomorrow to start my citizenship process after. Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:03]:
This is a long time coming.
Joey Speers [00:07:03]:
You have to have a green card for three years and then you can start. So that's my. Like, through your thing.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:08]:
That's crazy. Congratulations.
Joey Speers [00:07:09]:
Thank you. I'm proud to be an almost American.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:12]:
Almost American.
Leslie Johnston [00:07:13]:
And we love that you bring a Canadian flair to our friend group.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:17]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:07:18]:
What's a Canadian flair?
Leslie Johnston [00:07:19]:
I don't know. Just. You just give off a Canadian vibe a little bit.
Christy Speers [00:07:23]:
The. A thing you say a lot less.
Leslie Johnston [00:07:25]:
Which is kind of sad.
Christy Speers [00:07:25]:
But, yeah, he's lost that a little bit.
Joey Speers [00:07:27]:
I've definitely blended into what you guys say.
Leslie Johnston [00:07:29]:
Well, we love that you brought your family into all of our lives because we love the Spears family.
Joey Speers [00:07:34]:
Shout out the Spears. Spears to the Spears.
Christy Speers [00:07:36]:
And then the one listener.
Leslie Johnston [00:07:38]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:07:38]:
Hey, shout out to Linda. My grandma's probably gonna listen to this too. I know she listens to your show too.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:42]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:07:43]:
Grandma loves podcasts.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:44]:
Yes.
Leslie Johnston [00:07:44]:
And Sarah Spears.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:48]:
Any of our families combined to this podcast. Joey's only sends me more messages about this podcast than my family does about this podcast, which is so cool.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:55]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:07:56]:
So great.
Morgan May Treuil [00:07:56]:
We have a million ways we're gonna go with this conversation, but we always start our episodes off Kristy knows with an unpopular opinion. So we want to hear from both of you guys what your unpopular opinion is.
Joey Speers [00:08:06]:
And I've got two.
Morgan May Treuil [00:08:07]:
Oh, okay, then. Yeah, Fire away.
Joey Speers [00:08:10]:
Do you want. You go first, then I'll give my two.
Leslie Johnston [00:08:12]:
Okay.
Christy Speers [00:08:12]:
My. I'll go real quick. I didn't have one for today. And I was like, shoot, we're sitting in the McDonald's drive through because it's our birthday. And I was like, I. I say our birthday. It's my birthday.
Morgan May Treuil [00:08:22]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:08:22]:
And I was like, I want McDonald's for lunch. And Joey's like, great, it's your birthday. We can do whatever we want. So we're in the McDonald's drive through. And I was like, I tell. I don't have an unpopular opinion. I don't say. And then I'm sitting there holding, and this is my unpopular opinion.
Christy Speers [00:08:33]:
This is the only thing worth ordering at McDonald's. A plain hamburger with nothing on it. Meat and bun. That is the only thing you order at McDonald's. You get that. You get a Diet Coke and a large fry. That's all you need. Plain hamburger, nothing on it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:08:47]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:08:47]:
What's even crazier is that this was your birthday.
Joey Speers [00:08:50]:
Yeah. We were coming for meetings. We were like, we were already late.
Leslie Johnston [00:08:54]:
I needed like five seconds and we.
Joey Speers [00:08:55]:
Were like, we gotta get something quick. And Christy.
Morgan May Treuil [00:08:57]:
Anyway.
Christy Speers [00:08:59]:
Nothing on the hamburger. Just try it. Don't knock it till you try.
Joey Speers [00:09:02]:
And Leslie's nodding her head cuz you also agree.
Christy Speers [00:09:04]:
I converted Joey on this.
Morgan May Treuil [00:09:05]:
Is it dry?
Joey Speers [00:09:06]:
No, it's not con.
Leslie Johnston [00:09:07]:
I'm not converted, so you might enjoy it.
Joey Speers [00:09:09]:
But I, I, Joey ate that today.
Christy Speers [00:09:11]:
He goes, just give me whatever you get.
Joey Speers [00:09:12]:
I ordered whatever she got and he.
Christy Speers [00:09:13]:
Knew what I was going to order.
Morgan May Treuil [00:09:14]:
So you give me the birthday special. McDonald's for lunch with nothing on my hamburger.
Joey Speers [00:09:18]:
Super salty, just like meat patty with a bun. That's what she loves.
Christy Speers [00:09:22]:
Okay, great.
Morgan May Treuil [00:09:23]:
Honestly cannot say that I have, like, it's pretty good.
Christy Speers [00:09:25]:
Explain and see that lunch tomorrow.
Leslie Johnston [00:09:27]:
So good.
Morgan May Treuil [00:09:27]:
I'll, I'll try it. That sounds great.
Leslie Johnston [00:09:29]:
I agree with that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:09:30]:
Okay, not bad.
Joey Speers [00:09:32]:
So unpopular penalty number one is that people that do not know how to back in a vehicle are significantly less successful in life. And I think that translates across a lot of different things. How you park a car tells a lot about you. A lot about you, Kate. So that's, that's number one.
Leslie Johnston [00:09:50]:
Can I give some rebuttal to that? I think that people back in their cars to parking spots who are not people pleasers. You wanna know why? Because normally it's so much faster to park in a spot if you just go face in. But you have to pretend like you're passing by the spot and then pull.
Christy Speers [00:10:12]:
Up to the right, potentially hit someone walking.
Joey Speers [00:10:14]:
You don't have to pretend.
Leslie Johnston [00:10:15]:
No, no, no.
Joey Speers [00:10:16]:
It, it, you don't have to pretend. This is just how every single time.
Christy Speers [00:10:19]:
We'Re in the parking lot and we.
Leslie Johnston [00:10:20]:
Are in your car and we pass by the spot because you have to turn to, then back up into it and the person behind you is like, oh, yeah, they passed it up. And I just can't do that to somebody behind me. They're gonna think that I'm passing it and then they're gonna get too close to behind Me. And then I have to back up and they're gonna have to back up. It's gonna be a whole thing.
Morgan May Treuil [00:10:36]:
So Joey's not a people pleaser.
Leslie Johnston [00:10:38]:
So.
Joey Speers [00:10:39]:
So that's a good point. Yeah. I think people who back in their vehicles are not people pleasers. And they also are backing in their vehicles because it's significantly easier. Easier to get into any parking spot. I've got a truck that is. It's way easier to back a truck in than it is to pull forward in. Like, you have to do like a two point turn most of the time because of the wider wheelbase.
Joey Speers [00:10:56]:
So it's not only you're not a people pleaser, it's actually easier. So it's like more efficient and you typically get a way better parking job because again, it's way easier to get in perfectly straight backing into something the way that a vehicle turns than it is to pull in. So you've got a more perfect. Perfect. A more perfect parking job. You are more efficient and, and you feel superior.
Morgan May Treuil [00:11:20]:
But you're saying it says things about the rest of the world.
Joey Speers [00:11:22]:
It does. It really does. Yeah. Like when you meet a like, example, my sister shout out to Grace. My younger sister, littlest sister, when she was 16, first thing she learned, she's like, I'm learning how to back in the truck. Because, like, Joey backs it in, dad backs it in. Like, I will not be a girl that pulls my car in. And to this day, she backs into every parking spot.
Morgan May Treuil [00:11:39]:
And people are like, respect means business.
Joey Speers [00:11:41]:
And you look at the rest of her life, people look at her and they're like, respect.
Morgan May Treuil [00:11:44]:
All because she commands respect.
Joey Speers [00:11:46]:
Well, she does. Her parking, her parking personality is, is okay.
Leslie Johnston [00:11:50]:
But if you don't, hey, if you don't have a backup camera, does it change?
Joey Speers [00:11:55]:
No. No. Because if you. That, that's even more proof that if you don't have a backup camera that you're still. You're like, you're not making excuses for better life choices.
Morgan May Treuil [00:12:05]:
The good news is you could just do this.
Joey Speers [00:12:07]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:12:07]:
I don't know.
Joey Speers [00:12:09]:
Or you use your mirrors and you just back up like this and you use your mirrors. So. Yeah, okay.
Leslie Johnston [00:12:15]:
That's right.
Joey Speers [00:12:16]:
Number two. And I don't know how you guys are gonna feel about this, but I thought about this like six months ago and I wrote this down. Okay.
Leslie Johnston [00:12:22]:
In hopes that you'd someday be on the fly.
Joey Speers [00:12:24]:
Exactly.
Morgan May Treuil [00:12:24]:
Who's preparing?
Joey Speers [00:12:25]:
I think unpopular opinion, Seeing somebody you know in an airport but you didn't know we're gonna be there. Is actually quite an intimate thing because you get to see what luggage they have. And looking at people's luggage is actually like a weirdly intimate, intimate thing. So, like, example, if I was in an airport and we saw somebody that works here at Bayside that I don't really know but I kind of know them, like, enough to be like, hey, what's up, man? Like, you check out their luggage. We all do it. Like, you look at what people pack in and there's something weird about seeing, like, oh, this is what people put, like, their stuff in and travel in. I think there's like, a weird, intimate thing about this.
Christy Speers [00:13:00]:
Joey has, like, an obsession with bags. Like, he loves bags. Those backpacks, bags. Anytime we're in a store, he's looking at the bags like he just wants to buy everything. This is actually very on par with.
Joey Speers [00:13:09]:
But do you not agree with me? In an airport, you see, it's like, oh, this lady. Like, I didn't take her as a girl that would pack in that. Or, wow, she looks like a really messy.
Christy Speers [00:13:17]:
Give an example.
Joey Speers [00:13:18]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:13:19]:
Would be, like, an embarrassing thing to.
Joey Speers [00:13:22]:
Like, if somebody has, like, a San Francisco 49 or suitcase that's, like, from, like. Yeah, that's from, like, some, like, value store. It's like. That's telling, you know, it's like, if.
Leslie Johnston [00:13:31]:
It doesn't have four wheels.
Joey Speers [00:13:32]:
Yeah. Or if it's got two wheels or if it's. Yeah. It's got a broken handle and it's, like, janky, you know? Or if they've got really, really nice stuff that also is telling about, like. It's just a weird thing to see. It's almost like seeing in someone's closet. Because no one expects to see people they know in the airport. So, like, people settle on the suitcase and stuff.
Joey Speers [00:13:49]:
They pack it and it's just funny.
Morgan May Treuil [00:13:50]:
That's a really interesting thing, actually. Like, no one goes to the. You're not going to the airport to be seen. To do. To be seen.
Joey Speers [00:13:56]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:13:56]:
So you. And even, like, in how people dress.
Joey Speers [00:13:58]:
Yeah. So I'm saying, like, airport version.
Christy Speers [00:14:00]:
I go rap mode.
Joey Speers [00:14:01]:
Airport version of Morgan, Leslie or Christie is. Might be different than, like, every day. And it's like a weird. So that's my popular opinion. Airports expose a side of you that you might not always see in people. And it's, like, weirdly intimate to see somebody you know in an airport.
Morgan May Treuil [00:14:17]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:14:18]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:14:18]:
That is. Actually, I've never thought about either of those things. Those are great unpopular opinions.
Leslie Johnston [00:14:23]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:14:23]:
I love it. Can I tell you my Third one that I told Leslie the other day. Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:14:26]:
This whole episode could just be that.
Leslie Johnston [00:14:28]:
Set it up like how you said it. Set it up how you said it.
Joey Speers [00:14:33]:
No, I'm gonna say it. I'm gonna say it the normal way. So this is. This is, like, one that I think is the most true about me. And I think this. This might be something similar to the backing your car in thing where, like, this might tell a lot about your life. But I. I will always.
Joey Speers [00:14:51]:
Let's say I'm at in n out. Unpopular opinion. I'm at in and out. I'm pulling out a fry. Or we just came from McDonald's, okay? So I'm pulling a fry to the McDonald's thing. Let's say I drop a fry on the floor or on the table or something like that, and there's now one lonely fry, and I got a basket here. I will eat the lonely fry off the table way before I'll pick another fry up. Like, if I was sitting across from you, Morgan, and you dropped a fry on the table, and you're like, I'm not gonna eat that.
Joey Speers [00:15:16]:
That's on the table. I would eat that.
Christy Speers [00:15:18]:
No, you said we find that fry most desirable. Like, it's, like.
Joey Speers [00:15:22]:
It's, like, more desirable.
Christy Speers [00:15:23]:
It looks as good as the one on the ground.
Leslie Johnston [00:15:25]:
Would you eat a fry off the floor?
Morgan May Treuil [00:15:26]:
What is that, psychological?
Joey Speers [00:15:29]:
Probably not, but I. I mean, no, but, like, I mean, if I drop one on the table, like, if. If you're pulling fries out and, like, three fall on the table. This happens all the time with you girls. Because you girls are not like this. I'll be sitting with you at Internet, and you girls pull food out of something, and something falls off onto the table. And, like, you don't even look at it. You won't give it another look.
Leslie Johnston [00:15:47]:
It's the brown part of the. Like, the little.
Joey Speers [00:15:49]:
No, it doesn't matter what type it is.
Morgan May Treuil [00:15:53]:
Really spreading things.
Leslie Johnston [00:15:55]:
Do you think it's a cleanliness thing? Like, you want to keep your space clean so you're like, oh, I got that. And then all that.
Joey Speers [00:16:00]:
When I eat, my plate's always like. Like, clean. Like, I don't, like, push my food around and, like, just play with it. I'm like, I eat my food. Everything's, like, clean. I don't know, but there's something about. There's something about. I just.
Joey Speers [00:16:12]:
Like, that fry is more desirable. And I think other people relate to.
Christy Speers [00:16:16]:
Eat off the ground.
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:17]:
Well, I thought it was like a. Like, oh, now it's Left out. So I want to make sure.
Joey Speers [00:16:19]:
Yeah, no, but that's kind of it. That's kind of it. It's like. And I think that's what's telling about, like, this is how you eat. The lost fry is telling about how you go through life, because I think I also live like that.
Leslie Johnston [00:16:30]:
Joey set this up yesterday so badly.
Christy Speers [00:16:32]:
Yesterday.
Leslie Johnston [00:16:33]:
I like to le the 99 fries for the 1. And I was like, what are we talking about?
Joey Speers [00:16:39]:
Leslie goes, don't set it up like that.
Leslie Johnston [00:16:41]:
I said, whatever you do, don't set that up.
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:43]:
That's so funny.
Joey Speers [00:16:44]:
She told me not to set it up like that. But that was my intro yesterday. So those are my three people who back in cars are more, like, significantly better at life in a lot of ways. It's telling about that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:16:55]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:16:56]:
The third one is seeing people in an airport is an intimate experience because no one expects to be seen.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:00]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:17:00]:
And you're exposed. This is my suitcase. This is what I'm wearing. This is where I'm flying.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:05]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:17:05]:
And the third one is the fry that is lost or is traveling away from. The rest is the taste is the most desirable one.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:12]:
You guys might win the award for the most thoughtfully prepared unpopular opinions.
Christy Speers [00:17:16]:
Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:17]:
Because these were.
Joey Speers [00:17:17]:
I love it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:18]:
These were neat.
Leslie Johnston [00:17:18]:
These were good.
Christy Speers [00:17:20]:
This is how we're different.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:21]:
No, it's so good, though.
Leslie Johnston [00:17:22]:
Oh, it's so funny. Oh, my gosh.
Morgan May Treuil [00:17:24]:
Can I. Sorry. I have so many questions. Can I ask a question that we didn't prepare you for, but I think it's going to launch? I would describe you guys, both individually and in your marriage, as kind of fearless, which I don't know if you feel that way. Do you feel. And here's. Sorry, let me back up and explain the fearless thing. What you do for work is not conventional and requires quite a bit of calculated risk, but also putting yourselves out there, how you met and got married, which you should share at some point in this episode.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:00]:
Unconventional requires a little bit of risk, especially for you. Not risk as in, like, you're not sure if it's going to work out, but more so, like, big, bold steps, I should say. The way you guys do hobbies, it's all. It all feels adventurous. Big, bold, kind of fearless. There's not much that seems like it scares you. Start something new, Quit your job, go do this. Like, nothing.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:23]:
It doesn't seem like you are scared. Do you get scared?
Christy Speers [00:18:28]:
I feel like I'm one of the most fearful people. People I've ever met.
Joey Speers [00:18:31]:
I think Christy's the Most fearful person I've ever met. Yeah. Honestly.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:35]:
Really?
Joey Speers [00:18:35]:
100.
Christy Speers [00:18:36]:
100. Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:37]:
Y'.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:37]:
All don't.
Morgan May Treuil [00:18:38]:
What do you. What do you think about yourself? Are you scared? This is a very deep question. I'm sorry.
Joey Speers [00:18:43]:
I don't think I'm. I don't think I'm actually super. Like, I would not relate to the way Christie would talk about being a fearful person. I would say I'm very, like, aware of fear. Like, it's not like I'm just like, oh, no, just do it. I'm very aware of it, but I'm. I feel comfortable in it. Yeah, more comfortable than.
Christy Speers [00:18:59]:
I think you feel very comfortable in fear. Like, you have this, like, desire to live, actually, I think in fear, but I think you're very, like, controlled in that. Like, that almost is like. He thrives in, like, situations that are, like, risky and, like, all of that kind of stuff. I feel like I'm just playing afraid all the time.
Leslie Johnston [00:19:18]:
But, you know, you don't.
Christy Speers [00:19:19]:
You don't live afraid.
Leslie Johnston [00:19:20]:
You've never been one that, like, lives afraid.
Morgan May Treuil [00:19:22]:
No.
Christy Speers [00:19:23]:
I think that I find while he feels very comfortable in it, I find a lot of, like, joy in, like, conquering fear. So, like, for me, ever since I was, like, very, very little, I was always very aware of fear. Like, I look at some kids, I'm like, they're fearless. They're doing this. They're jumping off of rocks. They're doing all this stuff. I was always very, very afraid. But I think I got really addicted to, like, what the other side of fear feels like.
Christy Speers [00:19:43]:
And so I think I'm just constantly. I constantly have to live going, okay, what steps do I need to take to get past this?
Morgan May Treuil [00:19:49]:
To the other side.
Christy Speers [00:19:50]:
Yeah, to the other side. Yeah. So that's the opposite.
Joey Speers [00:19:52]:
That's literally the story of Kristie's life.
Christy Speers [00:19:54]:
Yeah, we're very opposite in that way. But Joey. Joey's always been, like, a risk, all of that kind of stuff. Even. Even when you were really little.
Morgan May Treuil [00:20:01]:
Where does that come from? Is that just intrinsic to who you are, or is that something you learned?
Joey Speers [00:20:06]:
Probably. It's probably. I was naturally a little bit more bent to be like that. But then I think you just start. It's compounding, right? So, like, you start taking little risks as a kid, and you're like, whoa, like, my peers didn't do that. I did that. And I got some result that made me feel good or get recognition or enjoy something more than I think some other people got to enjoy out of that experience. I like that, and then you just keep compounding on it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:20:30]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:20:31]:
You know, so it's, it's all. It builds. Yeah, it definitely builds.
Leslie Johnston [00:20:34]:
So you guys are really different, obviously, in that way. Like, Joey, you even said, like, I can't relate to Christy in the way that she feels fearful. And Christy, you obviously understand Joey in a different sense with the fear stuff. How do you. How have you grown to actually understand and almost empathize with the other person when both of you from your opposite sides don't relate in the same way to fear?
Christy Speers [00:20:57]:
Totally.
Leslie Johnston [00:20:58]:
Because that would be a challenge. And I'm sure it's a challenge for a lot of people listening. I'm sure everybody listening who's married is like, oh, my spouse is so different from me in some area. And it's like, will they ever. Because you guys actually do it really well together. So what has that been like?
Morgan May Treuil [00:21:13]:
Well, I also wonder too, like, how aware were you of that difference when you met versus now?
Leslie Johnston [00:21:19]:
Oh, yeah.
Christy Speers [00:21:19]:
What would you say?
Joey Speers [00:21:20]:
I think when I met Christy, I thought she was a lot more wired like me, because I saw her doing hard things and doing scary things.
Leslie Johnston [00:21:28]:
Christy was jumping off cliffs when you guys started dating, like, and taking risks.
Joey Speers [00:21:32]:
And putting herself out there and going after stuff. But yeah, I don't think I realized that her position, looking at fear was a lot different than mine. Now I feel like we found that out really quickly.
Morgan May Treuil [00:21:45]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:21:45]:
Because our relationship went, like, super deep really quickly. Yeah, but.
Christy Speers [00:21:49]:
But it's cool. I think sometimes you can view it as a deficiency if you're really different. Like, I think most people that are married or if you're in a long term dating relationship or whatever, you start to. You really quickly find out, like, this person's different than me. Even though you have a lot of similarities, I think there are a lot of people who are like, oh, like, I'm with someone who's super anxious. Like, that's really hard. Or you're with someone who's like, they don't understand your anxiety or they don't understand the fears that you have. And I think that that can immediately on the front end, like, make you, like, butt heads or, like, there's a disconnect there or maybe even break up over it.
Christy Speers [00:22:22]:
I think one of the cool things about us and that we've figured out is I think we've learned how to actually compensate for each other. Like, I think Joey is one of, like, the most supportive people when it comes to my, like, feelings of fear. And he helps me move through it quicker. Than I would on my own. And, like, I do things. I do things more now because Joe is with me in it. And I think that even though he'll even say, like, hey, I don't understand exactly how you're feeling, but, like, I'm here to support you, and I know you're gonna get through it. Like, he has this confidence of, like, the other side, and it completely helps me go through things way faster and with way more ease, which is really cool.
Christy Speers [00:23:00]:
And I think I help not get us killed.
Morgan May Treuil [00:23:02]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:23:02]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:23:04]:
I think I help us in some.
Morgan May Treuil [00:23:06]:
Of that type of stuff.
Christy Speers [00:23:07]:
So I actually think us being opposite is way more beneficial than if we were both the same.
Morgan May Treuil [00:23:12]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:23:12]:
Because I think, like, I think marriage is so often wrongly looked at as, like, you're looking for a complimentary stuff that. Where you both are aligned. It's like, I want someone who's going to compliment me with. We have the same values, the same interests, the same vision for the future, you know, and those are all absolutely, like, core pillars of marriage. But, like, I think the most important things about marriage is, like, how you compliment each other's weaknesses. Like, that's huge. And I think. I just think we flow like that really, really well.
Joey Speers [00:23:42]:
And that's what stuck out to me about Christy from the beginning, like, really quickly. And I was like, I'm, like, all in on that. Like, all in on that. And I don't just say, like, all in on helping her and her with me too, and all my mess and crap, too. She is, like, the perfect puzzle piece for helping me sort myself in return, the same way I'm. We're both doing that for each other. So.
Leslie Johnston [00:24:04]:
So complimenting somebody's weakness, I feel like, is a skill. You learn something sometimes it doesn't just happen naturally. Like, I think you could put two opposite people together, and their differences can either tear them apart or push them together. So what are the things that feel like you're actually supporting each other, even though maybe a lot of other people would be going against that? You know what I'm saying? Like, how do you train yourself? Are there times where you're like, oh, I really have to lean into this? Where my natural inclination might be, like, you're wrong, or you don't understand or you just don't think this way? Like, I guess, what's. Maybe what's something that you guys have had to grow in to actually learn to compliment each other instead of viewing each other as. You're just so different from me?
Morgan May Treuil [00:24:48]:
Yeah, that's good question.
Joey Speers [00:24:50]:
Well, I think, I think the other stuff I was just talking about, like, the all the other ways that we would complement each other, personality wise, vision wise, hobby wise, the way we look at life, those things are what create a bond between us. But the depth, as I said, the depth in marriage all comes and the depth in any good relationship all comes from how we complement each other's weaknesses. So I think, like, you have to have some type of a connection on the good things to really make you want to invest in somebody on the depthy things and on the hard things. So, yeah, we just have that. Right. Like, so, yeah, I think it's hard if you're trying to put two people together and be like, oh, you're not complementing each other's weaknesses, but it's like, well, if you don't have all the foundational stuff, like, if you don't actually want to be with this person, then that stuff's going to be really, really hard. Because it's not easy. It's super hard.
Joey Speers [00:25:35]:
Like when Christy's feeling fearful about something and we're having conversations about it, like, it's hard to sit there and be like. And not just be like, snap out of it. Like, literally just change how you're thinking about it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:25:46]:
Right.
Joey Speers [00:25:46]:
Because that's how I just look at it. I know you know you're gonna do it. You can either just decide to do it fearful and wreck your experience, or you can decide to do it not be scared. But it's like, but that's not helpful to her because that's not how her brain works, you know? So I'm saying that to say, like, it's hard, it's not easy complimenting each other's weaknesses is not easy, but it's super worth it.
Morgan May Treuil [00:26:06]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:26:06]:
Because it's like 100% the most fulfilling part of marriage.
Morgan May Treuil [00:26:10]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:26:10]:
Is helping each other become, not to becoming one, but like two people becoming like two whole, you know, and then like, that can create a really cool, for sure relationship.
Christy Speers [00:26:21]:
So, yeah, I feel like even one of the best pieces of advice we got for like, okay, who do you want to marry? And like, when people were talking with us, like, individually of like, okay, we dated for a short amount of time. Like, we met at the LAX airport. We literally got engaged. How many months later, Joe?
Joey Speers [00:26:37]:
Seven months.
Christy Speers [00:26:38]:
Seven months later. Like, it was crazy. Very seven month engagement, seven month dating, whirlwind situation. And I remember before we got engaged, someone was like, pick someone to marry. Pick someone based off of who you want to suffer with. It was, who do you want to suffer with?
Joey Speers [00:26:53]:
It was Richie Wilkerson. Yeah, I heard that he preached about that and then I mentioned it. Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:26:58]:
And I just had different conversations with people who are like, you got to pick who you want to suffer with because you're not prominent, promised perfect, peaceful joy for your entire relationship. Like your or your life. You're promised suffering. And so pick someone who you can suffer well with.
Morgan May Treuil [00:27:11]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:27:12]:
And I think that while that sounds really, like, down and sad and I don't know, like, not like super fun and romantic or whatever, but it is true. And I think one of the things about suffering is that I think it is really deep and it almost like I have this like, visual picture of, like, you're in a relationship and you're like, up on the top of the water. Like, let's say they have like an ocean or something like that. Like, you have the top of the water and everything's fun and everything's great, but then, like, suffering hits and you get dragged under. And I think so many people are like, let me just escape this to get back up to the top. So, like, I'll cut loose with this person and then go back up to the top and like, go back to feeling like everything's normal and peaceful. But, like, if you go a little bit deeper, like, I would imagine, like, oh, you go into, like, this is a really dumb explanation. Dive down into like a cave or something like that, you know, like where you get to someplace where there's air underneath, where you're like, wow, this is so sick.
Christy Speers [00:27:58]:
And like, this I would have never gotten here if we hadn't gone through the hard stuff. I feel like that really does feel a lot like us. Like, it feels like, okay, we both go deep with each other and even though it can be hard, it can be messy. And like, we have like a thing in our relationship where we're just like ultra honesty. Like, no matter what it is everything. You don't keep anything hidden.
Morgan May Treuil [00:28:18]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:28:18]:
And I think that while that is very hard and there's a lot of people in the world that will tell you not to do that to me, I'm like, oh. Even though it's harder, you get to this spot where you're like, whoa, I never knew a relationship could feel like this. Like, this is so cool because we went through the pressure filled, like, getting really deep.
Leslie Johnston [00:28:35]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:28:35]:
But then all of a sudden it like clicks and then you're like, whoa, we just got through that. And that's amazing. And like, now we have A way deeper relationship. So I think showing up for each other's weaknesses is a way that you do that. And I think it's. It's super meaningful.
Morgan May Treuil [00:28:47]:
I love that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:28:48]:
So go back. Because one of the biggest questions I. That we get and we feel from the people that listen to this podcast is the question of how you know when you've actually met your spouse versus just another person that you're gonna date. So go back to the beginning. You said you met at the LAX airport, but at that point, you're living in a different country.
Joey Speers [00:29:08]:
Canada. Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:29:08]:
And you're how old?
Joey Speers [00:29:10]:
We met when I was. I think I was 20.
Morgan May Treuil [00:29:15]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:29:15]:
Okay. And the only reason why I say that is because that's a really rare boy age to be like, that's my wife, and I'm going to get married to her. We're to get engaged. You were engaged in seven months or you were. No. You were engaged?
Joey Speers [00:29:28]:
No, no, we. So we met. We met in June, and we didn't start dating till January. January.
Christy Speers [00:29:33]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:29:34]:
Okay. So what?
Joey Speers [00:29:34]:
So we had, like, just. We, like, very, very loosely knew of each other. So a story goes. She asked me about my backpack, literally, in tsa. She taps me on the shoulder. I turn around, I'm like, oh, it's.
Leslie Johnston [00:29:45]:
That why you have such a thing about luggage in the airport, maybe?
Morgan May Treuil [00:29:49]:
He's like, this is the difference.
Joey Speers [00:29:53]:
So she stopped it on the shoulder. Where'd you get the bag? Tell her about it. She'd been looking at the camera bag online. I send her the link. And that's literally it.
Leslie Johnston [00:30:02]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:30:02]:
And we. She was a wedding photographer. I was hosting a photographer.
Christy Speers [00:30:05]:
But you kind of had a crush on me when you saw me.
Joey Speers [00:30:07]:
Well, I was like, you know, the most important thing that I thought I was, I was like, that's the most American girl I've ever seen.
Christy Speers [00:30:13]:
Which I didn't see.
Morgan May Treuil [00:30:14]:
What does that mean?
Joey Speers [00:30:16]:
She just looks, like, so American.
Morgan May Treuil [00:30:17]:
I don't know. She looks like California.
Joey Speers [00:30:19]:
No, like America. Like, like nationwide.
Morgan May Treuil [00:30:22]:
What is the nationwide what? American look like like her.
Joey Speers [00:30:26]:
Like her. Like her and like her, because they.
Christy Speers [00:30:28]:
Look the same like her.
Joey Speers [00:30:29]:
You guys look American.
Morgan May Treuil [00:30:30]:
Face of.
Joey Speers [00:30:31]:
You look very American, too.
Christy Speers [00:30:32]:
Good thing anymore.
Morgan May Treuil [00:30:33]:
I feel like uncultured, almost basic white glove ever seen in my whole life.
Joey Speers [00:30:40]:
So, basically, time goes on. We then, like, reconnected over, like, a photo set that I had posted from a trip to New Zealand, Australia, that I'd gone on, and she had commented on it, and we started talking about film because I'd shot it on film, and Long story short, we ended up chatting a little bit about like business stuff, like all business. Then I was back in LA working in January and. No, sorry, December. I was back in LA working in December and she had to go do a location scout up in Malibu and she's like, oh, do you want to come? Have you ever been? I'm like, no, I'm totally would love to come. And I thought I was just going to like chat about business stuff. And I was in la, like for a four day business networking event. And so she was just like kind of another person that I was connecting with.
Joey Speers [00:31:24]:
I was super excited to connect with. And we ended up chatting about like nonprofit stuff because I was really intrigued by that. We both have like backgrounds and thinking, like, business is meant for good. We were both self employed and kind of had a bend towards doing stuff with our businesses. So I was asking her about that and of course you start talking about like nonprofit stuff, you then start talking about money. Then you start talking about like the philosophy of money mixing with your faith. And then all of a sudden I was like, oh, shoot. Like, I didn't know girls like this existed.
Joey Speers [00:31:49]:
And I was like, oh, man.
Morgan May Treuil [00:31:50]:
But girls like this, meaning what?
Joey Speers [00:31:52]:
Like, I didn't know that people with like the makeup of who she is. Yeah, she's like super driven, but she's not gonna stomp all over somebody. She's super strong willed, but she's like kind and generous and grace filled. Like the makeup of all of that packaged in the way that is Christy.
Leslie Johnston [00:32:15]:
Christy's a lot of extreme things, but put into one in the best way.
Joey Speers [00:32:19]:
Yeah. And I was like, I didn't know. Yeah, I was like, I just didn't know that like people like this existed. Like, I don't know, maybe I just thought like, if you had a girl that was like really going after stuff, which she was and is still, I guess I would have thought that that was a person that'd be like really dominant and wanted like, which I don't know how that would mix with me because I have a naturally more dominant personality.
Morgan May Treuil [00:32:39]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:32:39]:
So I think like seeing how my personality mixed with hers, even about just, just about work stuff, I was like, whoa. Like, this is a really interesting like, like feel being in conversation with her. And like, yeah. There's just something about it where I was like, yeah, I want to get to know everything about that girl.
Morgan May Treuil [00:32:56]:
Wow.
Joey Speers [00:32:56]:
Like, I'm just super, super intrigued. Like, I want to know everything about her.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:00]:
That's really cool.
Joey Speers [00:33:01]:
Yeah. And I had, I never met Anybody like that up until that point.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:04]:
It kind of sounds like you.
Leslie Johnston [00:33:07]:
It.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:07]:
I think we say this often, but I don't think it can be said enough. It kind of sounds like you met somebody that you're like, oh, I. Like, we actually could run at the same pace because she's already doing so much with her life. She's not just like sitting around waiting, waiting for whatever. She's like, got a thing.
Joey Speers [00:33:25]:
She's very much in motion. Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:33:27]:
And that was attractive. That was.
Joey Speers [00:33:28]:
Yeah, that was attractive. But I wasn't like, oh, she's super attractive because of all the stuff she's doing. It was like something about like, man, she's doing all this stuff, but it's. It's. The stuff she's doing is amazing. But why she was doing it. But more like the fact that we could talk about all the amazing stuff she was doing and she could ask me about things that I was doing. But that was never the, like, at least to me.
Joey Speers [00:33:51]:
That was never like the, oh, like this is the best part of the conversation, getting to talk about what we're both doing. It was like, yeah, cool, you're doing that. Cool, I'm doing this. But like, what else, like, what else do you believe about the world that's cool? You know, like, it was like, that was the stuff that was so interesting about her.
Morgan May Treuil [00:34:04]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:34:05]:
Cause, yeah, I mean, there's lots of people that are doing cool things, but yeah, I was not looking for a life partner that's doing cool things.
Morgan May Treuil [00:34:12]:
So what would you say you were looking for at that time? Because you're 20 years old at that point.
Joey Speers [00:34:16]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [00:34:17]:
You got your business.
Joey Speers [00:34:18]:
Yeah. So I grew up. I grew up with a really good, healthy view of marriage. All my grandparents are still married. They're all awesome. I have four grandparents left. They all have been married for 50, 60 years.
Morgan May Treuil [00:34:29]:
So cool.
Joey Speers [00:34:30]:
And yeah, 60 years plus. And they're all amazing. My parents great marriage. They just had their 20, you know, they said the 30th and great marriage. Now our marriage is very different than my parents marriage. Our marriage is different than my grandparents marriage on both sides. But I grew up with this like healthy look on marriage where I was like, I am so excited to be married one day and I can't wait to like, find the right person. So I was always very, like expectant of that and very stoked about that.
Joey Speers [00:35:02]:
And I think what your original question was, what Morgan?
Morgan May Treuil [00:35:08]:
It was like, what were you looking for at that time?
Joey Speers [00:35:11]:
I don't think. I don't think I Really, I definitely wasn't looking for someone who was going to be like, oh, they're super successful or this. Like, I didn't really necessarily. That wasn't. That didn't rank, like, all of Christie's incredible accomplishments weren't, like, insanely high on the totem pole for me of, like, reasons why you'd marry somebody. And I think it's cause deep down, I wanted people that would look at me the same way and be like, I don't really care what Joey's doing. I want Joey for who Joey is. Those things can be cherries on top, but I want Joey for who Joey is.
Joey Speers [00:35:41]:
So I feel like when I met Christy, I was like, man, she's doing such cool stuff. But that is not at all the coolest part about her, like, who she is, how she thinks, the things she is excited about in life, the glimpses of things I can see she struggles with. Very early on in the first day of getting to know her, I was like, that stuff is, like, fascinating to me, and I'm way more interested in that. So, yeah, I just feel like she. I feel like when I met Christie, what really stuck out to me and what made her immediately be like, oh, that's someone who I could see marrying was. I feel like I really enjoyed her worldview. I loved the future state of the world. She was, like, envisioning seeing for herself and for people around her.
Joey Speers [00:36:26]:
And I was like, man, I can just really get on board with that, like, and, yeah, I could really get on board with that. And I also feel like, like I said, she's so strong, but she's also, like, fragile at the same time. Like, you're very sensitive in, like, a cool way. And I feel like. I feel like that was something that I just felt like, man, I could really see myself enjoying, benefiting from the things that she's really strong in. And I can really see myself contributing to her. The sides of her that feel, like, fragile or sensitive, that, like, need to be, like, held.
Morgan May Treuil [00:37:00]:
That's cool.
Joey Speers [00:37:01]:
And that was, like, really exciting to me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:37:02]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:37:02]:
So I don't know, I could probably. If I thought about more, I could probably. That's really some more stuff. But it was like, it was very much not a. An external thing. It was very much like there was just something about her that I was so curious about. Yeah, that was just fascinating to me.
Leslie Johnston [00:37:16]:
Well, it was really cool to see Christy because obviously I've watched her date people growing up and just a bunch of idiots, but I watched her date people and it was so funny how it was so incredibly different with Joey.
Joey Speers [00:37:34]:
What do you think was different? I would love.
Morgan May Treuil [00:37:36]:
I'm just talking about me.
Joey Speers [00:37:39]:
No, I want to know. Not about me. I want to know what was different about Christy.
Morgan May Treuil [00:37:42]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:37:43]:
So.
Leslie Johnston [00:37:43]:
Well, with Christy, it always felt like the guys she was with. Who are all great guys.
Christy Speers [00:37:49]:
Yeah, they're all great. Absolutely.
Leslie Johnston [00:37:50]:
But it was like, you. You never were. It never felt like you were 100% in and 100% yourself. Not that you were ever trying to be someone different, but, like, there was a difference with Joey where it was like, right away, she was like, I. Like, I could just tell that Joey was probably the one. Cause she was so excited, and she was so worried it wasn't gonna work out.
Christy Speers [00:38:18]:
Like, I was so worri.
Leslie Johnston [00:38:20]:
So it was just so different. Like, every other guy she was with, it was always this, like, I hope.
Christy Speers [00:38:25]:
They break up with me. Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:38:26]:
She was always like, I kind of. Me. And with Joey, it was like, she's terrified that he's not into her. And I was like, it's like a different level.
Christy Speers [00:38:36]:
But it wasn't.
Leslie Johnston [00:38:37]:
And it wasn't in, like, a. Like, Joey was expressing. I mean, Joey was so.
Joey Speers [00:38:42]:
I thought he was trying to express it as much.
Leslie Johnston [00:38:44]:
Yes, it was. But I realized really quickly, like, oh, this. This guy is, like, giving Christy a run for her money. Almost, like, in a good way of, like, oh, she's so excited about this that she's so nervous to, like, lose it. And that was a really interesting thing right at the beginning. And I'm like, christy, this guy flew to New York to take you on your first day. I think he's into it. Like, that was just so funny.
Leslie Johnston [00:39:06]:
But I say that because I think a lot of girls, when they feel like they're maybe settling, there's not that excitement factor. But they're like, but you know what? He's a great guy.
Christy Speers [00:39:14]:
Or.
Leslie Johnston [00:39:14]:
But blah, blah, blah. And it's like, no. There was. I think girls need to be excited about who they're dating. Especially at the beginning. Like, you have to be. You have to have that. Like, oh, I am.
Leslie Johnston [00:39:26]:
I'd be nervous to lose this person.
Morgan May Treuil [00:39:27]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [00:39:28]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:39:28]:
And then with Christy, the ability to, like, say yes so quickly to things with Joey, even to the part where we were like, I don't think. You're like. I'm like. I'm like the twin who was like, I don't know about this.
Morgan May Treuil [00:39:38]:
It's too fast.
Leslie Johnston [00:39:40]:
He's from Canada. We don't even know if he's an axe murderer at this point. So there was a lot of faith from all of us going into it after like six months of being like, we're getting married, but. But yeah, we love Joey and he just jumped in so quickly and, and melded so easily with everybody.
Joey Speers [00:39:55]:
And yeah, we decided we were going to get married after like 90 days.
Morgan May Treuil [00:40:00]:
That's one of the striking parts of your story. First of all, I will say, after I heard your story for the first time, I like took the airport seriously in like a whole different way.
Christy Speers [00:40:08]:
I was like, everyone, you never came home.
Morgan May Treuil [00:40:10]:
I'm wearing makeup there. Or I like, you just don't know, right? Like, don't know. That story ruined me and maybe other people for a little bit. But the confidence, how quick your confidence in each other came, that was to me a very unique part of your story. So I don't know from your perspective, the whole story.
Christy Speers [00:40:29]:
So I'll shorten it. Cuz I think I've told this on the podcast before, but I. That was basically like a deal with God that I had, which.
Morgan May Treuil [00:40:35]:
Oh, that's right.
Christy Speers [00:40:36]:
I don't know if you're biblically supposed to make deals with God, but I did. I was like, it worked. I had these really. I had a few long term relationships where I never felt sure and then I. Those ended, whatever. And then I was just like, okay, God, like I'm fine being single for the rest of my life. Genuinely, I am okay with that. I have come to just accept that.
Christy Speers [00:40:52]:
But if you do have somebody for me, I need to know after three months. So if I don't know that I'm going to marry that person and I'm like sold out for that person after three months, then I'm out. Yeah, I told Joey that when we.
Morgan May Treuil [00:41:03]:
First started dating because she was like, I don't want.
Joey Speers [00:41:04]:
She said, she's like, I'm not wasting.
Christy Speers [00:41:06]:
My time, I don't want to waste my time.
Joey Speers [00:41:08]:
She's like, I take myself seriously to the point where like, I'm not just going to like lollygag myself through this.
Christy Speers [00:41:12]:
Exactly. And I was like, hey, I'm not saying you have to feel this way, anything like that, but just like, just know that I have this deal with God where I said basically, I have to know it three months. And if I don't know, then I'm gonna break up with them because I don't wanna waste any more of my time. So I was like, in three months and Joey like writes down the date, not me knowing, and then three Months later, it was like, do you. Are you gonna marry me? And I was like, so?
Joey Speers [00:41:32]:
Well, no, no, no. We had started talking about marriage. We started talking about marriage before that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:41:37]:
No, we did, but it was like, we wrote it down.
Christy Speers [00:41:40]:
Like, he was like, all right.
Joey Speers [00:41:41]:
Three months later, it's funny, I called her and I was like, hey, like.
Christy Speers [00:41:45]:
Like, three months.
Joey Speers [00:41:46]:
That's three months. And she's like, what do you mean? I was like, you told me you're gonna tell me if you're gonna marry me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:41:52]:
And I was like, yeah, yeah.
Joey Speers [00:41:54]:
So. But we. We had already. So we had probably, like, seriously talked about getting married. Like, probably about two months in. Maybe just over two months in.
Morgan May Treuil [00:42:01]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:42:02]:
Which sounds crazy, but, like, I think if you peel back the layers on who we. Who we both were prior to this, and also our first couple months were crazy. Like, we start dating, like, officially start dating February 11, 2020. I fly down February 10. We do eight days. I was like, this is either gonna be the best eight days of my life or the worst. I'm gonna be flying home after, like, four days. Because this is like, our first.
Joey Speers [00:42:28]:
Like, I literally met her one time prior.
Morgan May Treuil [00:42:31]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:42:31]:
In New York. She was there. Flew over there for, like, literally 24 hours just to hang out. And, like, crazy. I was already, like, super indoor. But it was like, kind of see, like, what this was. I also didn't know how old she was. That's a whole other story.
Christy Speers [00:42:42]:
Oh, yeah, we have an age gap. Everybody's been seven years.
Joey Speers [00:42:44]:
That was a whole other story. Point is, I fly to California for the first time for an eight day trip, and I'm, like, super stoked. Like, super stoked. So that's February 11th, February 19th, I go home. I was supposed to be coming back March 8, so it was gonna be like three weeks or something like that. I get home for four days, and I'm like, hey, what are you doing this week? She's like, oh, I'm going down to the desert for some stuff. And I was like, sweet. And just, like, screenshotted her, like, tickets, and I was going back.
Joey Speers [00:43:11]:
So four days later, after our first initial trip, four days later, I go back. So Border Patrol's like, dude, what are you doing?
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:16]:
I screenshotted her the plane tickets you had just bought to meet her, which.
Joey Speers [00:43:19]:
Is what I did the first time I went to New York to see her as well.
Christy Speers [00:43:22]:
No.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:22]:
He asked.
Leslie Johnston [00:43:22]:
Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:23]:
He likes to make it sound dramatic.
Leslie Johnston [00:43:26]:
Joe's stories have, like, a flair to them.
Christy Speers [00:43:30]:
They're like, Morgan's stories.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:31]:
Asked if you could come. A little hinge on them.
Joey Speers [00:43:33]:
Yeah. But I think I had bought the flights prior to asking, because I was like, I can just. Just refund.
Christy Speers [00:43:37]:
Oh, maybe.
Joey Speers [00:43:37]:
Yeah, yeah.
Christy Speers [00:43:39]:
It just wasn't like Ax Murder vibes. It was more like, yeah, yeah.
Joey Speers [00:43:45]:
Point is, we hang out for eight days. I go home supposedly for, like, three weeks. I come back four days later.
Morgan May Treuil [00:43:50]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:43:50]:
Because I'm just like, I just want to spend all of my time with this girl. Like, I'm like, if I didn't work for six months, which is pretty much what I did, Like, I just want to spend time with this girl. So I go back to California, second trip for another eight days. I then go home for, like, a week and a half, come back for that original trip in March, and I'm in LA for work for a couple days. And then she was supposed to fly down the morning of the 14th. Or maybe it was 12th.
Christy Speers [00:44:19]:
I don't remember.
Joey Speers [00:44:20]:
I think it might have been the 12th. I think it was March 12th. She's supposed to fly on the early, like, 6am flight to LA. I was gonna wake up from my hotel, done all my business stuff from, like, previous couple days, meet each other in the LAX airport, and then fly to Canada, like, after, like, two and a half weeks of dating for her to meet my family. Well, the night before, she messages me and says, hey, I think I might have this Covid thing. And I'm like, what's Covid? And so we start talking about it, and she's like, oh, I'll just come next week and I'll refund my flights and, you know, change the next week. And I was like, yeah, sweet. Cool.
Joey Speers [00:44:45]:
So I go home on March 12, and two days later, the border shuts. So I say that to say, I'm telling you this because getting to the point where you want to marry someone, like, within, like, two months is crazy. But. But after, like, three weeks of dating, we. Or, like, maybe even less, the border shut, and we were stuck in separate countries, so all we could do is talk.
Morgan May Treuil [00:45:03]:
Huh?
Joey Speers [00:45:04]:
And that really puts the pressure on. It's like, this is incredibly inconvenient. Incredibly inconvenient. Like, there is zero point to continue this relationship when you have a closed border between you, and it's already incredibly inconvenient to start with, even if you. The border was open. Like, there has to be a lot of reason for you to want to continue this. So I was like, sweet, I'm all in on this. And so we just talked.
Joey Speers [00:45:24]:
We probably talked for like seven, eight hours a day. No joke. Like that cringe couple that just like sits in a room on their phone all day and talks to each other. We were like, I mean, you probably remember that less. Like I was on the phone with Christy all the time. And that's why I kind of joke about not working because I would stay up till like 4 or 5am every day because she's obviously on PST, so it'd be like 1 or 2am for her and I'm on EST and it's like 4am every day. And so I was just like zombied.
Christy Speers [00:45:50]:
Out getting to know each other.
Joey Speers [00:45:51]:
But yeah, we talked like non stop. So by the time we got to two months, I felt like I had known her way better than anyone had ever known me in my whole life. I felt like she knew me more than anyone in two months and vice versa. I felt like I had a really good read on her and I was like, that's my wife. 100%.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:06]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:46:06]:
So wow.
Leslie Johnston [00:46:08]:
So being like 20, 21. You were 21 when you got married, right? Yeah, yeah, 21. A lot of 21 year old guys.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:17]:
Are not getting married.
Leslie Johnston [00:46:18]:
Well, yeah, they're not getting married and they're not necessarily even like in that heads.
Christy Speers [00:46:24]:
A lot of 30 year old guys aren't getting married.
Morgan May Treuil [00:46:25]:
Yeah. Like poll the listeners right now as they're listening to this. They all have their gavels and they're just like ranting right now about like how the, the perception around men is that they don't step up, they don't lead, they don't make decisions. They're not doing what, what you were doing at 21.
Leslie Johnston [00:46:41]:
Yeah. What would you like if you were speaking? Because obviously you are not that way and you were not that way if you were speaking to like younger guys in their 20s, maybe even up to 30. Why do you think guys are less likely to kind of like man up and step up for their relationship or actually pursue someone? There's a lot of girls feeling like I'm doing a lot of pursuing. These guys are just like sitting back. They're not, there's no timeline. They're not, they're not chasing after me or pursuing me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:47:10]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:47:10]:
Why do you think it's like that right now? Especially with guys? And what would be your advice be for guys?
Morgan May Treuil [00:47:16]:
Guys and girls.
Leslie Johnston [00:47:17]:
And girls do both.
Morgan May Treuil [00:47:18]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:47:19]:
Well, I think girls gotta step up and pursue. I'm a huge fan of that. So I'll just say that like the girls that just sit back and they're like oh, he has to. I'm just like, ask him where his camera bags from. Yeah, that's fine. Like, I definitely live in the camp where I'm like, I think the job of. Of pursuing somebody is, is on both people.
Morgan May Treuil [00:47:40]:
Mutual.
Leslie Johnston [00:47:41]:
Yes.
Joey Speers [00:47:41]:
Yeah, it's. Yeah. Cuz it's like, this is your freaking marriage. Why do you expect that you don't have to put work into this thing. Like, this is who you're going to spend the rest of your life with. Why are you sitting on a bar stool complaining that he's not coming over and talking to you? Like, come on. So that's, that's my one take on that. I do think, guys.
Joey Speers [00:47:58]:
No, A bar stool in a church lobby, drinking your coffee. Come on.
Christy Speers [00:48:03]:
You can be someone at bars.
Joey Speers [00:48:04]:
But I think there is a name. Yeah, I'll. I'll get into the guy thing. But say what you.
Christy Speers [00:48:07]:
It was going to be just a joke.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:08]:
Keep going.
Leslie Johnston [00:48:08]:
Yeah, I know what you're talking about, so.
Joey Speers [00:48:10]:
Well, say your joke. I want to hear your joke.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:12]:
No, I just said Christy's also the.
Joey Speers [00:48:14]:
The funniest person I know.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:15]:
It was like, say your joke.
Christy Speers [00:48:16]:
You had not texted me that day, and I was kind of like, oh, maybe he like, doesn't want to be with me anymore. Like, I don't know. I haven't heard from him all day. And then you, like, reach out to me at like 3pm and you're like, why didn't you text me? I was like, waiting to see if you would text me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:30]:
No, seriously, it is true. Oh, I don't do that.
Joey Speers [00:48:33]:
Guys. No, not some guys. Like every guy.
Christy Speers [00:48:36]:
Every guy wants to feel.
Joey Speers [00:48:37]:
Here's the thing. What? This is what happens. Okay. It's like, like, what does every woman want out of a marriage? What's like, her main thing? It should be an easy answer.
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:45]:
Words of Africa.
Leslie Johnston [00:48:46]:
No.
Joey Speers [00:48:47]:
Like what? Like, what do women need?
Leslie Johnston [00:48:48]:
It's like love and support.
Joey Speers [00:48:49]:
Yeah. Okay. Love and support. Right. What do guys desire?
Morgan May Treuil [00:48:52]:
Respect. Respect.
Joey Speers [00:48:52]:
Respect. Yeah. Okay, so how is. How is respect shown?
Leslie Johnston [00:48:58]:
Through love and affirmation.
Joey Speers [00:49:00]:
Yeah, but respect is shown by being like, I'm. I'm coming to you. I want to show my respect for you. I'm pursuing you and show that I respect you.
Christy Speers [00:49:08]:
It's like a plan.
Joey Speers [00:49:08]:
So it's funny that it's funny that, like, even I'll just speak to it in a church sense. Like, we hear that all the time in the church. Oh, Women just need love and support and guys just need respect. They need to be honored. And it's Like, I think those things are very true. Yeah, that's obviously, like, categorizing things. Very blank, slight. But I think those are very true.
Joey Speers [00:49:23]:
Yeah, but why then in dating relationships, or why. And like, how we view dating prior to marriage, it's like, no, but girls, you don't have to go pursue him because, like, that would show him an ounce of respect. Like, it's like, if guys want respect, if you want. If you want a guy to actually consider you for marriage, like, pursue him, because that is going to show that there's something about you or something about him that you respect and that that's huge for a guy. So.
Morgan May Treuil [00:49:46]:
So you're saying I think that's shoot your shot.
Joey Speers [00:49:48]:
100. 100, yeah, 100. I love that.
Leslie Johnston [00:49:52]:
Well, because if it doesn't. If it doesn't work, I think a lot of people are like, oh, I don't want to shoot my shot, because either that's, like, embarrassing for me as a girl, or what if they're not into it? But you're not ready to get married.
Christy Speers [00:50:04]:
Yeah, right.
Joey Speers [00:50:05]:
I don't think you're ready to get married.
Leslie Johnston [00:50:06]:
It's like the same thing where girls are like, ew. When guys are too forward, it's just too much of like, yeah, if they lay all their cards out there. But I guarantee, if it's a guy you want to be with, you're like, this is the most attractive thing.
Joey Speers [00:50:15]:
I'll tell you what's embarrassing. Getting before you get married and having to, like, be like, this is who I am, and you're about to live with me for the rest of your life. And, like, here's I'm spilling all my beans.
Leslie Johnston [00:50:23]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:50:24]:
Like, there are so many things about marriage that is hard and embarrassing. If you can't walk up to a guy and fear rejection, you're not ready to get married.
Christy Speers [00:50:30]:
Yeah, that's actually a really, really great point.
Joey Speers [00:50:32]:
You're not.
Leslie Johnston [00:50:32]:
That's good.
Joey Speers [00:50:33]:
And the same thing goes for guys.
Christy Speers [00:50:34]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:50:34]:
What's your advice for guys?
Joey Speers [00:50:35]:
So it's the same thing. Like. Like, girls. Girls need love, they need support, and they also need to be pursued. Like, girls want to feel pursued. They want to feel respected. And so I think. I think it goes both ways.
Joey Speers [00:50:46]:
Like, I think guys. I think probably speaking to your original question, you're like, why do guys not. Why are guys. Why do guys suck, basically, is what you're saying. And your listeners are like, why do guys suck? There's no guy for me.
Leslie Johnston [00:50:57]:
We don't think guys suck.
Morgan May Treuil [00:50:58]:
That's what our listeners. The listeners do sound like that they're kind of whiners.
Joey Speers [00:51:04]:
I don't. I don't think guys suck. I don't think girls suck. I think if you're around a bunch of crappy guys, like, get in a different circle. Well, it's probably. Yeah, it's probably. Well, here's the other thing too. Like, if you're not being pursued, the question is, and this is harsh, but, like, are you worth pursuing? Like, are you the type of person that.
Joey Speers [00:51:23]:
This is a great thing to think about with marriage? And I feel like I thought about this all the time and especially around pursuing Christy. Cause I had so much stuff I had to, like, figure out and clean myself up on in order to feel like I was really gonna be the man that was deserving of marrying her. But it's like, man, if you. If you're looking around, you're like, oh, like, I want this guy to pursue me. Or, why is. Why does every guy I'm around suck? Well, it's like, do the work. Like, what about you would make you just so worth pursuing where you walk in a room and you've got like five guys being like, who is that?
Morgan May Treuil [00:51:53]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:51:54]:
Or how do I get to know her? Like, there's something about her. Like, and I think everyone. Everyone has something like that. Everyone can absolutely pull something like that out of themselves. It's all. It's in all of us, you know, we just have to pull it out. So I think, like, for guys. I think a lot of guys are unsure of themselves, especially in those develop developmental ages.
Joey Speers [00:52:13]:
Right. Like women. Women's brains develop faster than men. So, like, you know, by the time a woman's, what, like, 17, 18, her brain's like, fully formed. Not fully formed, but, like, fused. Pretty formed.
Morgan May Treuil [00:52:24]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:52:25]:
But for guys, it's like most of their body and their brain, it's like, fully formed by their 25. So, like, guys are. Guys are a few years behind statistically in terms of, like, development of who they are. And marriage is nothing but two people being like, I'm sure of who I am, and because I'm sure of who I am, I'm sure of who we could be. And so we're gonna get married.
Morgan May Treuil [00:52:45]:
Right.
Joey Speers [00:52:45]:
So if you're not there, well, then it's obviously gonna feel really hard to find somebody.
Morgan May Treuil [00:52:50]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:52:51]:
And if you're not there, it's also gonna feel really hard for somebody else to see that in you. So I think about, like. And I think that's going back to what I felt about Christy, I felt like she had a really good pulse on who she was, which was super attractive to me. Me.
Morgan May Treuil [00:53:02]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:53:02]:
And not that she. Everything figured out perfect, but there was. There was a piece of her where I was like, oh, there's actually something to be super curious about. So I am wildly curious about her.
Morgan May Treuil [00:53:10]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:53:10]:
And that's probably. There's probably an ounce of that back towards me. Right. So I think with guys, it's like, man, grow up. Figure out who you are. Like, do the work on figuring out, like, who has God made you to be? Who is he wanting you to be? Who are you right now? And what do you need to deal with to figure out how to become who you're actually supposed to be? Right. Because, like, I wish someone would have sat me down when I was 12, 13, 14, every year, actually, of my entire life and said, one day you are going to sit in front of Christy and you are going to have to be fully, fully subjected to who you are in that moment and is going to give her the option to pursue you or to walk away. So make every decision knowing that that moment has come.
Joey Speers [00:53:55]:
No one ever told me that. I wish someone would have told me that I would have not done so many things that were stupid that I. That I did that have impacted who I am or impacted our relationship.
Morgan May Treuil [00:54:03]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:54:04]:
And have caused scars on me or hurt on me, which in turn, then my scars become hers or they inflame scars that she has of her own.
Morgan May Treuil [00:54:12]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:54:13]:
So, like, that's also another huge thing. Like, if you. If you're not ready to do that work and you haven't started that process, like, I'm just like. Like, marriage. Marriage is just, like, not a good idea. And I think that's why half of marriages break up, is because you have two people that don't know who they are who are coming to marriage for the wrong reasons. They're coming to marriage going, this is going to complete me or this is going to fulfill me or solve something. Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:54:36]:
It's going to solve something about me that is either known and I don't like it about myself, or it's very unknown. And it's like a very subconscious thing within me that I don't even realize about myself, but I'm totally operating in it. And, like, the healthiest marriages I know, and I would love to categorize Christy and I in this, and we're going to continue to work on this, to make sure we stay there for the rest of our lives, is I want our marriage to be two people that are coming together that know who they are. And so we're using the. The. The value of knowing who we are and who God's called us and created to be to benefit the other person. So I'm not. I'm not.
Joey Speers [00:55:11]:
Like, a healthy version of me in our marriage is not me coming to Christy being like, I need this from you. It's me coming to Christy being like, this is who I am. And because of that, here's the ways I'm gonna. I'm gonna be here for you.
Morgan May Treuil [00:55:20]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:55:21]:
And that kind of goes back to what we were talking about at the beginning of the podcast. But it's like, the best marriages are built on the foundation of suffering. And, like, how can you know how you're gonna help somebody through suffering if you don't know what you're either gonna suffer for about, or if you don't even know who you are? So I think. I think there's just the timeline of, like, guys between 18 and 25, 18 to 30, whatever you want to call it. I think it's just very. It's a very normal thing to. To not have gone through a lot of those steps and a lot of that process.
Leslie Johnston [00:55:48]:
You know what I mean?
Morgan May Treuil [00:55:49]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:55:50]:
I love that a lot of that is work.
Christy Speers [00:55:51]:
Like, oh, it's totally work.
Leslie Johnston [00:55:53]:
Anything you do that's stagnant goes in decline. So it's like, I just heard someone saying today, like, if you don't focus on your. Like, if you don't intentionally put effort towards your family, your spouse, the person you're dating, the person you want to be with, it will go into decline. So it's an active choice to go, hey, I'm bringing something to this relationship. I'm not just looking for something from them to complete me. A question I have. You brought it up earlier in the podcast. Is, like, the 100% honesty thing.
Leslie Johnston [00:56:22]:
What does that look like in your marriage, and how has that benefited you and your relationship? And why is being honest so important? Because although we all say we want to be honest with our person, a lot of us, a lot of people are living in secrecy, thinking it's protecting the person. So what does that look like for you guys?
Joey Speers [00:56:44]:
Yeah, so we have a super high value on honesty, Christy and I, and there's a lot of guys that have said this to me or you just hear it around, especially in the church. It's like, there's things your wife should not know. You need men who are going to keep you accountable for that. That and I'm like, I can see the value in that. And you should have Men, of course. Like, I've got lots of men that I share things with and that I'm very accountable to. I've got, like, a whole rank of, like, older men that I really look up to and are, like, phenomenal relationships. But, like, man, that's my wife.
Joey Speers [00:57:17]:
Like, she should know every. I want my wife to know every inch of my soul, and I want. I want to know every inch of her soul. So I'm just like, I don't. I didn't sign up to have a roommate for the next, like, 70 years. I'm like, I wanted a marriage. I wanted to be able to go through everything together. So, like, honesty is, like, the foundation for that.
Joey Speers [00:57:34]:
Like, honesty is the foundation for any human connection that feels safe.
Morgan May Treuil [00:57:39]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [00:57:39]:
And so we started our dating by. I think it was our first trip. My first trip here. I literally sat Christy down on a couch or whatever, and I was like, this is literally all my crap.
Leslie Johnston [00:57:54]:
Yeah, he did.
Joey Speers [00:57:55]:
And that was the moment that I was just referencing a couple minutes ago, where I said, I wish someone would have told me I was gonna have to do that.
Morgan May Treuil [00:58:00]:
Right.
Joey Speers [00:58:01]:
It was the hardest. I think I cried. It was the hardest thing, potentially, I've ever had to do. I was so freaking scared. Not nervous, like, terrified, because I was like, I finally find a girl. I finally found a girl. It's only been six days of dating her, and I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. And I now have to sit in front of her and tell her every stupid thing I've ever done that has scarred me.
Joey Speers [00:58:24]:
And she has the choice to go. I can deal with that. Or she has the choice to go. That's too much for me. And I'm walking, and that is a terrible, terrible place to be sitting in between that. And so that was a huge moment for me, having to sit down and be like, I've got pride issues. I've crossed lines with girls in previous relationships that I wish I never would have crossed. That is taking something now away from you.
Joey Speers [00:58:51]:
And I. You know, I. I've got all this other crap or here and there, you know? And, like, you go on and on and on, and I'm just, like, spilling my guts out to this girl, being like, if you were gonna date me, I value and respect you so much. I don't want anything to catch you off guard. And so I'm giving you the out right off the bat.
Morgan May Treuil [00:59:08]:
Right.
Joey Speers [00:59:09]:
Cause that's how serious I am about pursuing you. And I also wanted that from her. I was like, I don't, like, I just, I just flew from another country to come here. Like, this is costly, it's incredibly inconvenient, and it's the most wild experience of my life and I'm so in for it. But, like, I'm not beating around the bush with this. Like, yeah, yeah, let's go. I want to know, you know, sparing your soul.
Leslie Johnston [00:59:28]:
And what was that like, what was that experience like for you, Christy?
Morgan May Treuil [00:59:31]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [00:59:32]:
And how did that push your relationship forward?
Christy Speers [00:59:35]:
Absolutely. I think one of the things that is. Is so great about Joey and I, I think is my, like, more fear based outlook on life. And like, I actually feel like I was a very private person before I met Joey. And I think I'm naturally bent towards being really private and like, not sharing a ton or whatever. And I think him leading with such like, vulnerability and honesty and yet also confidence, like, I feel like that really helped me open up. And so I think even if you're like someone who's maybe more fearful, more private, more like, oh, my gosh, I just feel like very vulnerable in relationships. I would look for someone who's confident.
Christy Speers [01:00:11]:
Like, I would look for someone who's like, confident in a good way, not an unhealthy way, but someone who's gonna help lead you in that because it is like one of the biggest gifts. Like, I feel like I, I feel like Joey led the way in honesty in our relationship. Like, I think he. Him taking the first step in doing that and me sitting there and going, I have my own crap too. Stuff I've never told anybody, like, stuff that I like. I like, whatever. And I was able to open up to him and I feel like we were both able to like, trade this grace with each other, which I think felt so. It was such a cool moment because I was like, I feel like God has given me eyes.
Christy Speers [01:00:47]:
And I think this is, I think sometimes also how you feel when you feel like you found a person you really want to be with is like, I feel like I see who, how God sees you. Like, I'm imperfect. I'm not going to treat you how God sees you. I'm like, I'm going to mess up in all these different ways. But I feel like I'm like, oh, Joey, I see you for who you are. And like, those actions weren't you. Those actions were outside of your own, like, character that I see and that I can witness and all these things. And, like, I forgive you.
Christy Speers [01:01:12]:
Like, I forgive your past decisions. Like, I forgive the decisions you're gonna make in the future. Like, but I see you for how God sees you and was able to extend that grace. And I could also see how hard that was for him to admit those things. And I think that grace trade was something that was like healing for the both of us. And I think, I think in Christian community we always are heard, like, go to God. Go to get healing from God. But God also tells us that he heals us through other people.
Christy Speers [01:01:39]:
Like, he heals us through other people. Whether it's friendships, whether it's relationships. Like, when we do confess to each other, he is. When we confess to each other, he heals us. Not necessarily he will always forgive you. But healing usually comes through community. And so I think even in a relationship, that was just so cool to be led that way. And I think I.
Christy Speers [01:01:58]:
I told Joey stuff that I was like, I'm never gonna admit this to a single soul. And because I've admitted that stuff to him, I've admitted that stuff to you guys. Like, I've admitted stuff to my small group. Like, I feel like it's so radical, the transformation that happens when you actually just go full blown honesty. And I think a girl can lead that in a relationship. I think a guide can lead that in relationship depending on who you are. But, yeah, it was a really, really cool.
Joey Speers [01:02:21]:
That's why I started crying is because Christy looked at me and we're like sitting there holding hands. And I'm just like, broken because I'm like, like, literally I'm in like, my most broken state of, like, this is all of my brokenness. And she just looked at me and she basically just started, like, reciting the gospel back to me. And I just broke. I was like, yeah. And that's what I was like, dude, we're six days in. I'm like, yeah, this is my wife. Like, because she's got all these strengths.
Joey Speers [01:02:46]:
Awesome. But, like, the way she's dealing with my brokenness right now, and, man, like, I'm hoping that my vulnerability in that's gonna allow her to share her brokenness with me because I want to do the same thing for her. And yeah, like, she just started being like, yeah, that, like, that's great and it's cool.
Morgan May Treuil [01:03:03]:
That's not.
Joey Speers [01:03:03]:
That's not who you are.
Christy Speers [01:03:05]:
It's not always easy. Like, that moment was so cool. But there's a lot of, like, building trust after things like that. There's a lot of, like, us building trust with each Other, there's a lot of like hurt that comes from, from past decisions that you do have to like deal with and constantly recircle back to.
Morgan May Treuil [01:03:21]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [01:03:22]:
So signing up for honesty is hard. Like, it is really hard. But I'm like, I feel like we would be so distant from each other.
Morgan May Treuil [01:03:30]:
I love the concept of, I've never heard those words used that way. But trading grace or grace trading. But when you guys write your marriage book, at some point that should honestly be in the running for title. And I, and what I, what I was realizing while you guys were sharing this is there are people who don't choose to engage in that kind of honesty and they don't choose to engage in that kind of forgiveness. But the picture you just described is the reason why God says in his word that marriage is a picture of the gospel. Because it's that it's like the full bearing of your soul and it's the person coming back to you and saying, not only do I forgive you, but this is what God sees. And, and it's like that's the most. That's the healing moment.
Morgan May Treuil [01:04:14]:
That's what, that's what God says when he's like, confess your sins to one another so that you can be healed. It's like there's something that you don't go to marriage to solve you, but there is something that can be solved.
Joey Speers [01:04:26]:
Oh, it's incredibly healing. A good marriage is the fruit of a good marriage should be two people that are actively becoming more healed.
Morgan May Treuil [01:04:35]:
But lots of people miss that. They miss. So then, so like, it's like you almost get to choose the levels of vulnerability, the levels of honesty that you're going to go in or not go into. But your marriage will be the result of whatever level you choose to go.
Christy Speers [01:04:50]:
And it's not just past stuff. Like it's like current stuff. Like totally, literally had a conversation probably a month ago where I was like, I just have to admit these things to you, blah, blah, blah. Like, and I'm like, I feel silly because I'm like, oh, these things. Some of these things feel really small. Some of these things feel like big deals. And I'm just constantly, we're just constantly admitting things to each other all the time. Or he'll admit something to me and be like, oh, I shouldn't have done that, but I did this.
Christy Speers [01:05:12]:
And it's like funny cuz sometimes it can almost feel trite. Like it can almost feel like other people would look at us and be like, why are you telling. Like, you don't need to be telling him that. Like, it's fine. But I'm like, oh, like, this actually is just so good. Like, I. I think what had restarted. I felt like in our dating relationship, we were so honest with each other.
Christy Speers [01:05:28]:
And then I feel like even just, like, in the last, like, year or two, I, like, just listened to some random podcasts of some people that were just like, yep, radical honesty all the time. Not just pasta stuff.
Leslie Johnston [01:05:38]:
Current stuff. Oh, my God. Past stuff, but not current stuff.
Christy Speers [01:05:43]:
Yeah, not current stuff. It's easy sometimes to talk about your past, but not, like, what you just did last week or, like, what's currently happening or your current struggles. And I feel like we. We've been doing that, and it's been.
Morgan May Treuil [01:05:52]:
So good if you could rewind and go back 10 years because you talked about the things you wish you had told your younger self. But then also there's like a. There's like a heart. There's a hard work element to becoming the kind of person that when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with with, you're ready for it because you've already done the work to become that. What were some of the practical things that you wish you had been doing? To become both of you? Yeah, to become the person. Because what I like about your story, too, is it doesn't feel like either of you were, like, marriage hungry when you met each other. Like, I would probably guess that wasn't your number one objective at that time. Or maybe it was, but it.
Morgan May Treuil [01:06:28]:
It didn't. It wasn't every. You're everything. But then when you met each other, you saw the thing in each other that was like, oh, okay, I'm gonna move marriage to the top of my priority list because of what I see.
Joey Speers [01:06:38]:
Person. Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:06:39]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:06:39]:
But what are the. Like, get very practical with me. What were the things you wish you could go back either habits that you wish you could have instilled? Things you were reading, people you were seeing. Like, what. What should you have been doing? What should people be doing currently to prepare for this season of life?
Joey Speers [01:06:57]:
It's a really good question.
Morgan May Treuil [01:06:58]:
You also don't. Yeah, it could be lots or little. Doesn't matter.
Joey Speers [01:07:02]:
Yeah, I mean, that's a huge question. I. I think. And I can only speak to, like, our experience. Like, I can only speak to, like, just what makes sense to me. But if I. This is just, like, such a cliche answer, but it is so true, because everything Christy just mentioned, everything we've been talking about, none of that would have any legs unless it's standing on this foundation. But, like, actually understanding the gospel and how it applies to me.
Morgan May Treuil [01:07:32]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:07:32]:
Like, if I didn't understand that there's zero shot, we would have gotten married.
Morgan May Treuil [01:07:37]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:07:37]:
Zero shot. I would be hiding in my own shame, hiding in my own guilt, continuing to do stupid things, living a life all about me. Joey's world, we're all living in it. And the only. The only antidote to that that I found in this life is that I. I, like, I don't have to carry all that stuff, you know? And, like, it's just. It's. It's cliche, but it's.
Joey Speers [01:08:04]:
It's the way that we've all signed up to live life. That, like, I've made mistakes. I'll continue to make mistakes. I am broken, and I will continue to be broken until the day that I die. But there's somebody that can meet me in my brokenness, and I don't have to carry it alone. I don't have to hide from God. And because of that, because of the work of the cross, I can now start to see what a healed version of myself looks like in all the different compartmentalized versions of my soul. And, like, understanding that and going through the process of that, and that's not like, oh, yeah, I understood that.
Joey Speers [01:08:37]:
Great. I was ready for marriage. It's like, no, I grasp that. But it will be a life. We all know this will be a lifelong journey of, like, trying to understand that on a small scale. Like, we will never understand the value of that and having a relationship with God. But. But that's the first thing for sure.
Morgan May Treuil [01:08:53]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:08:54]:
Because that was the foundation that then allowed me to go, okay, my past doesn't define the fact that I am no longer worthy of marrying somebody that I am absolutely, wildly obsessed with and, like, so in love with. Because Joey, carrying all his guilt and shame of stupid things he's done, would have told me, she's way too good for you. You can't tell her what you've done. And if I would have gone into the relationship like that, I would have hid from her. I would have continued to make stupid decisions, and it would have blown it up. But I went into the relationship going, I'm actually forgiven. I don't have to carry the shame and guilt of things that I've struggled with or struggle with. And I am actively being healed by God in these parts of my soul.
Joey Speers [01:09:41]:
And then that's playing out in my actions in life. And I am in process of Becoming the version of me that God wants me to be. And I think that's going to be a great match for you. Do you want to meet me in that? If I didn't have the gospel, I think this is the first thing. So in order to do the work and get prepared, I think we've all got crap. My crap might have been more than somebody else's. It might have been less. But you've got to deal with the things that you have to deal with.
Joey Speers [01:10:09]:
Your scars.
Morgan May Treuil [01:10:10]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:10:10]:
You know, go to therapy, get mentors.
Morgan May Treuil [01:10:13]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:10:14]:
Figure out from people that have, like, walked the walk that are ahead of you in life. Like, dude, how do I deal with this? How do I stop doing this? Or how do I do this more? How do I stop living so selfishly? You know, like, because marriage is like, it will eat you up. Like, it will. It will eat you up. So dating will eat you up. So anyways, I think that's number one is like, I had to get so ridiculously clear on the fact that like, like, the gospel is a thing and it is a gift for me. And I have to actually realize that in my life and then see that play out. And like, man, when you grasp that, it's amazing the future you can start to dream up with God and like, the version of yourself that he can show you that is free of the crap that you've just dealt with, you know? And I think that then in turn allowed me to feel like I was becoming less fragmented and broken and more whole.
Morgan May Treuil [01:11:05]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:11:06]:
Even though still carrying stuff. But like, that then allowed me to stop just focusing on myself. Because I think people that are hiding, people that are. That are super broken, shame filled, guilt filled, they're selfish. Because you live your whole life going, how do I make sure no one is exposed to this?
Morgan May Treuil [01:11:21]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:11:22]:
And that's. That is a horrible foundation to go into marriage with or let alone go into dating with. So I think I just, I worked super hard to try and figure that out.
Morgan May Treuil [01:11:29]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Christy Speers [01:11:30]:
Early on, you did such a good job.
Joey Speers [01:11:32]:
I feel like it was a battle.
Christy Speers [01:11:33]:
You did such a good job too. Because I remember he'd be like, he just met some guys that he was like, felt like mentors and like, really guys that he really looked up to. And he was so intentional about, like, calling them. Like, he did have, like, accountability. Like, he had all these things that I felt like you were just calling people up and were being so brutally honest with each other. And it was so beautiful. Like, I was literally like, these are these guys that are just like totally sharing with each other, like, like just accessing the truth of the gospel within the relationships that you had. So it's not just about sharing things, I think, with your significant other or being open about that, but also open about it with your community, I think is the best thing you can do.
Christy Speers [01:12:09]:
And I watched him do that. Like, it was so cool because then he got to share with me, like, hey, this is what Tom Gillis said to me, you know, the other day about this and blah, blah, blah. And so you could.
Joey Speers [01:12:18]:
And that was for years, like, I have had one of the things my parents, I'm so grateful for. I really struggled growing up, school, and I was the bad kid and all that stuff. And that took me down this goose chase of a bunch of things. But, like, one of the things my parents really, really did a good job of is they were like, we, we need to get him around people that he looks up to that can build into him. Because, yeah, he hates authority or something like that. Right. So, like, yeah. And my parents just set me up with such great relationships and showed me and really actually taught me how to pursue people that I saw value in.
Morgan May Treuil [01:12:51]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:12:52]:
And ask for them to build into me. So, like, I have had people like that building into versions of Joey, like, since I was probably like 11. 11, like really building and not like, oh, yeah, the youth pastor took him out for lunch once. Like, no, like these people are like, like sacrificing real aspects of their lives, time and like, like resources to like, build into me. And it was like, incredible. And still to this day. Yeah, still to this day I still have like all those relationships. And so I think that was huge, like, if I didn't have that as well.
Joey Speers [01:13:22]:
So I think it's like, yeah, really understanding the gospel, how it applies to you, because one of the things that one of those mentors told me that I loved was like, dude, I want you to get to the altar on marriage day as pure and spotless as you've ever been. And you can't do that. Yeah, Jesus can do that, so you better run after him to get there.
Morgan May Treuil [01:13:43]:
That's great.
Joey Speers [01:13:43]:
Like, that's the only thing that's going to get you there.
Morgan May Treuil [01:13:45]:
That's great.
Joey Speers [01:13:45]:
And I was like, man, I want to stand up in front of Christy one day and I want to stand there and hold her hands to marry her. And I want to be the absolute most pure, shameless, guilt free version of myself I've ever been. So I'm gonna have to go through this battle of honesty with myself, honesty with God, honesty with other people. A battle of fighting things that are just bad for me.
Morgan May Treuil [01:14:08]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:14:09]:
Addictions, temptations, pride, selfishness. Like, all the things. Like, I want to just beat all of that to the grave as much as I can. And not to say that it stops. Stopped on marriage day, but, man, I was definitely the best version of myself that I had been up until that point on that day. And so it felt like a process.
Morgan May Treuil [01:14:26]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:14:27]:
And I don't know, maybe that's an indicator, if you're ready to go through that, that you're ready for marriage. And if you're not, it's really cool. Maybe you're not, and that's fine.
Morgan May Treuil [01:14:34]:
Yeah.
Joey Speers [01:14:35]:
But I think that's what. That's what a good marriage takes.
Morgan May Treuil [01:14:37]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Christy Speers [01:14:39]:
I would say for myself, I just wish I would have gone to therapy. Like, I think for the longest time, I had this big stigma around it. This big stigma of, like. Like, I don't know, you're weird and everything's wrong with you.
Morgan May Treuil [01:14:52]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [01:14:54]:
Or something.
Christy Speers [01:14:54]:
Yeah. It's like you're going to, like.
Joey Speers [01:14:55]:
Yeah, I don't know.
Morgan May Treuil [01:14:56]:
Yeah.
Christy Speers [01:14:57]:
Just the worst. And so. Or you just don't want to deal with it. And I remember feeling, like, almost, like, prompted. Like, I really wanted to do it, but then I was like, nah, just make it worse.
Morgan May Treuil [01:15:05]:
Like, I don't know, just not do therapy.
Christy Speers [01:15:06]:
And I think I had just a bunch of, like, baggage from, like, past relationships. I had baggage from just, like, my own anxious thoughts, my fearfulness, things I didn't even realize about myself. And I'm working through that now in therapy. And it's much. There's a. There's a. There's a sweetness to going through therapy, being married, because you have this other person to go through it with you. But I'm like, man, I wish I would have done that work before.
Christy Speers [01:15:27]:
Like, I look back and I'm like, gosh, I could have saved myself so much. Yeah, I could have saved myself so much time and less heartache and less. Honestly, probably, like, stupid fights and, like, random things or, like, suspicions or whatever with us. If I would have just done that work before. So I think, like, to be honest, we're big proponents of therapy. Like, we both go to therapy individually. We actually go to therapy as a couple, and we have since year one of our marriage. Like, we see someone every other week, and it is literally, like, the best decision.
Christy Speers [01:15:58]:
Like, we're the biggest proponents of, like, therapy ever. Like, you don't every. Every marriage should Be in therapy. Yes.
Leslie Johnston [01:16:05]:
Like, you don't have to be a, quote, struggling marriage.
Joey Speers [01:16:07]:
No, no.
Christy Speers [01:16:08]:
We actually started going to marriage when we felt like we were at our absolute best. We started going to marriage.
Joey Speers [01:16:12]:
I called the therapist for when I had said something to somebody that I did not think was a problem at all. And it came across super differently to them and it hurt them. And I was like, that's reason enough for me to go therapy. I was like. I was like, I want to figure that out.
Morgan May Treuil [01:16:25]:
We understand that.
Joey Speers [01:16:25]:
You know, so like, you. Yeah. You do not have to have this, like, oh, I'm at this massive, like.
Christy Speers [01:16:30]:
Fork in the road relationship. Don't wait.
Joey Speers [01:16:34]:
Therapy is no different than going to the gym. You should not start going to the gym when you are are 42% body fat. Like, you should start going when you are less than that.
Morgan May Treuil [01:16:44]:
Like, yes.
Joey Speers [01:16:44]:
Like, be proactive about it. Don't be reactive. You know, like, that is marriage. It's like, be proactive. Get in front of things.
Christy Speers [01:16:51]:
Yep.
Morgan May Treuil [01:16:52]:
You know, it's really good.
Leslie Johnston [01:16:53]:
You know, the cool thing about your guys relationship too is it's been so fun to watch, obviously. And like, we're all super close. And I love that Joey just like.
Christy Speers [01:17:02]:
One of the girls.
Leslie Johnston [01:17:03]:
Just one of the girls. He's our triplet.
Morgan May Treuil [01:17:06]:
My favorite.
Christy Speers [01:17:06]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:17:06]:
My favorite thing that Joey does is the conversation will start going, going in a different, like, whatever, a different direction. And he hears something that he's like, interested in and he's like, wait, who was that? Yeah, yeah, what was that? But it's like always, like a little delayed. And I'm like, okay, so let me.
Christy Speers [01:17:20]:
Go back and explain.
Morgan May Treuil [01:17:21]:
Oh, yeah, he's generally interested.
Leslie Johnston [01:17:24]:
Yes.
Morgan May Treuil [01:17:24]:
We're going like a delayed interest.
Leslie Johnston [01:17:26]:
Yeah. We were gonna go start the summer. I turned pretty the other night, and he's like running up the stairs, like, don't start without me. But you know what I love is.
Joey Speers [01:17:34]:
That Jeremiah is an idiot, guys.
Christy Speers [01:17:36]:
Yeah, he's team Conrad.
Leslie Johnston [01:17:38]:
But I love that, like, even the honesty part of your guys relationship has been such a huge thing. But even without knowing it, it's like it's impacted all of us. Like, I feel like our friendships are more honest. Like our conversations, like, even Christy and I like, our relationship is a lot more honest even than it used to be. And it's something that I don't think a lot of people think about honesty a lot during the day. It's just like, it's just the way you live or the way you grew up. But it's been cool to watch. Like, like your relationship can start impacting the people around you in positive ways.
Leslie Johnston [01:18:11]:
Like, there's such a ripple effect of doing things the right way and doing things in a way that not only honors God and honors your spouse, but then honors everybody around you. And so that's been so cool. Like, I can't imagine, I can't imagine our lives without you now.
Morgan May Treuil [01:18:27]:
Joey.
Leslie Johnston [01:18:27]:
So, Joey. Yep.
Morgan May Treuil [01:18:29]:
I think one of the, one of the lies that the enemy tells us that you guys have disproven in this episode. I think the enemy tries to tell you that your vulnerability or your weakness or your honesty is too much of a burden for somebody else.
Joey Speers [01:18:42]:
Like, or will be used against you or could be.
Morgan May Treuil [01:18:45]:
Yeah. Or could be weaponized against you. Like, it's not safe for them to know that. Don't tell them that. Or they'll think less of you or they'll think you're too much or whatever your thing is, you know? And I feel like with all of those different examples you gave, understanding the gospel for yourself, honesty with your spouse, mentorship and counseling, like, those are actually not as hard of practical steps as you might think. Because most mentors feel honored to be asked.
Joey Speers [01:19:12]:
Oh yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:19:12]:
Yes, slash, we need more mentors that are actually initiating with young men and women that they see who they are. Like, I see value in you. I'm going to take special interest in you. Even if you don't know that you need this.
Morgan May Treuil [01:19:24]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:19:25]:
And then counseling, same thing. Most counselors love to be asked a. Because you pay cash money and also because they got into it. Because, because they love to help people. You know, And I think, I think all of these are great practical steps. A lot of them involve like, defeating the lie from the enemy of. Yeah. That.
Morgan May Treuil [01:19:43]:
That should stay just with just you. Because no one else needs to know that. No one else needs to hear that. And if that's something that you can overcome before you enter into the marriage space.
Morgan May Treuil [01:19:53]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:19:53]:
It will bless your marriage and bless your relationships. And you'll. It's that living in freedom, it's like, like, okay, do you believe the gospel or have you actually experienced the gospel in a way that changes everything around you living it? Cuz that's different. That's a different experience.
Joey Speers [01:20:10]:
The gospel's not for the. Your last breath.
Christy Speers [01:20:13]:
Right.
Joey Speers [01:20:13]:
It's for your life.
Morgan May Treuil [01:20:14]:
But a lot of people will get to heaven and they'll be like, I got in because I believed it, but did I actually experience it?
Christy Speers [01:20:22]:
Right?
Morgan May Treuil [01:20:22]:
And that's a different thing. So I just, I think Your story tells me that really well.
Joey Speers [01:20:26]:
Yeah, I love that.
Morgan May Treuil [01:20:27]:
That's so good, Morgan.
Joey Speers [01:20:28]:
I really love that.
Morgan May Treuil [01:20:29]:
Well, we took. We took more time from you than we planned.
Joey Speers [01:20:32]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [01:20:35]:
So I feel like everyone got to know Joey a lot more because they already knew Christy. And so this was awesome.
Morgan May Treuil [01:20:40]:
And now we get to have you guys back on and there's a whole range of things we can talk about that we didn't even get to.
Christy Speers [01:20:46]:
Summer, I turned pretty. Summer I turned pretty weird unpopular opinions from Joey.
Morgan May Treuil [01:20:50]:
Business thing. You. You guys act. Can they. You need to tell them where they can find you and follow you and what you actually do besides, I guess, pastor us, because that's what you did today. So what do you actually do and where can they find you?
Joey Speers [01:21:05]:
Good question. So Christy and I run a content agency, working with brands to help them fill their content calendar, sales funnels and stuff online. So any brand that. Yeah. Needs content, branding, any. Any work like that, that's what we do. And then we have an education platform that teaches people like us, photographers and filmmakers how to actually make money, which is also fun. So if you just go to Instagram, Christy J.
Joey Speers [01:21:29]:
Spears, Joey Spears, you'll find all that there.
Morgan May Treuil [01:21:32]:
That's awesome.
Christy Speers [01:21:33]:
And our dog, Bogey.
Morgan May Treuil [01:21:34]:
Yeah, you guys are really fun.
Christy Speers [01:21:35]:
The most important handle, Bogey, the multi.
Leslie Johnston [01:21:37]:
Poo brothers with Ryder. We should have brought them here.
Joey Speers [01:21:46]:
Was gone.
Leslie Johnston [01:21:47]:
We should have brought the dogs today because I left Ryder at home and there were balloons all in the living room, which was very sweet. My roommate had set up like a birthday stuff, and Ryder would not leave the hallway when I was leaving. And I was like, what the heck? And he's afraid of balloons. So he's probably just laying in the hallway the entire.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:05]:
He's been there all day.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:06]:
And I was like, he probably can't even have access to his food.
Christy Speers [01:22:08]:
It's like they're starving.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:10]:
He's starving. No, if you see Ryder, he's not starving.
Joey Speers [01:22:13]:
He's got a.
Christy Speers [01:22:14]:
He might get 40 good riders.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:16]:
42% body.
Joey Speers [01:22:16]:
He found a way to get that food. He army crawled under the balloons. I ordered a smooth bowl.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:23]:
Exactly.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:23]:
Thank you guys for coming.
Christy Speers [01:22:25]:
We love you.
Joey Speers [01:22:26]:
This is a great podcast.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:27]:
Happy birthday.
Christy Speers [01:22:29]:
Happy birthday, love.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:31]:
Let's see you hug. Let's hug.
Joey Speers [01:22:33]:
I want an on camera hug.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:35]:
Come on now. It'll be weird.
Christy Speers [01:22:36]:
It only isn't for, like.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:38]:
That's weirder.
Joey Speers [01:22:39]:
Come on.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:39]:
This is so. Yeah. I'm fascinated by this.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:42]:
I know. Do you hug your sisters a lot?
Christy Speers [01:22:44]:
Lot?
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:44]:
Yeah.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:45]:
Like, we're not twins.
Christy Speers [01:22:46]:
Growing up. Growing up, did you just, like, go and, like, hug on each other and stuff?
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:49]:
I just pounded them usually, but, like, just punched them. But now I hugged them. But no, no, we didn't hug as kids, now that I think about it.
Morgan May Treuil [01:22:56]:
Yeah.
Leslie Johnston [01:22:56]:
Yeah, no, it's weird. But it's weird also, Morgan, I love that you hung the birthday sign with masking tape like that.
Christy Speers [01:23:01]:
Yeah, that's all I had.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:02]:
And it looks so ugly, so industrial. I was like, I'm going for an industrial Dwight Schrud of you. It is your birthday.
Christy Speers [01:23:08]:
Fun fact. If you want to be celebrated for your birthday, become friends with Morgan. She's so good.
Leslie Johnston [01:23:13]:
She's such a good celebrator now.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:15]:
Y' all are better celebrators than me.
Leslie Johnston [01:23:17]:
I feel like this birthday isn't even like a Morgan.
Christy Speers [01:23:19]:
Right before, if you're watching the video.
Leslie Johnston [01:23:21]:
That'S not your biggest bag.
Christy Speers [01:23:24]:
She gives me the first few things. She says is, these aren't your gifts.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:27]:
I swear. You think I got you candy as your gift. It's so lame if.
Joey Speers [01:23:29]:
You know, these are Christy's favorites.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:32]:
We all love gummies.
Leslie Johnston [01:23:34]:
Well, if you guys are still listening.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:35]:
Like, sorry, you know, when we see that people only listen to 80 of the episodes, this is when they drop. If you made it to the end.
Joey Speers [01:23:44]:
This is a drop off.
Christy Speers [01:23:45]:
If you made it to the end, you should go comment on the most recent post. A word.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:49]:
What should it be? O comment.
Joey Speers [01:23:51]:
Comment. Nerds.
Morgan May Treuil [01:23:52]:
Because we got some nerds and maybe.
Leslie Johnston [01:23:54]:
They'Re gonna give away nerds.
Christy Speers [01:23:55]:
And maybe they'll. No, no.
Leslie Johnston [01:23:56]:
Because then everyone's gonna be like, not nerds or nerds. Nerd clusters.
Joey Speers [01:24:01]:
Gummy clusters.
Morgan May Treuil [01:24:02]:
And we will give away. We'll give away one bag, one family size bag of nerds clusters.
Joey Speers [01:24:06]:
This right here.
Morgan May Treuil [01:24:06]:
Friends, you can't afford that on your own. We have to give you.
Leslie Johnston [01:24:10]:
Yeah, Gummy clusters.
Christy Speers [01:24:11]:
If, you know, you know, signed by Morgan and Leslie.
Morgan May Treuil [01:24:13]:
Yeah, we'll sign it. Because you care about that.
Leslie Johnston [01:24:16]:
I love it.
Morgan May Treuil [01:24:19]:
Just trying.
Leslie Johnston [01:24:21]:
People have been asking, do an ad.
Morgan May Treuil [01:24:23]:
Thanks for having us Anyways, thanks for joining. Am I doing this right? Podcast. We'll see you guys next week. Bye.